Lessons in Grammar and War
by OldOldLady
Summary: Dan went to tell Deb about Karen, but she beat him to the punch. What if she hadn't? (Missing scene added 624)
1. Story Header

STATUS NOTE: When I decided this was complete, I jumped the gun. A few weeks after, I realized I had overlooked something pretty major, and wrote one more chapter. If you've already read this story, the new chapter/missing scene is entitled "Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Quinoa".  
  
HEADER  
  
Title: Lessons in Grammar, and War  
  
Author: An Old, Old Lady  
  
Disclaimer: The characters of One Tree Hill are the sole property of The WB. I am simply borrowing them. The original characters are all based on real people and therefore also not mine.  
  
Category: AU  
  
Summary: Dan went to Deb to tell her about Karen and Lucas, but Deb beat him to the punch. What if she hadn't?  
  
Warnings: PG-13 for bad language, extreme fraternal hostility, egregious use of intentional irony, schmaltz, and not one but two instances of stream of consciousness  
  
Status: Complete. I don't believe in WIPs.  
  
A few things you should know before reading:  
  
-My interest in this show is entirely based on my interest in the growth of the relationship between Lucas and Nathan. Therefore the romantic elements are downplayed, although I did leave in a solid dose of Naley because I was afraid y'all would hurt me if I didn't.  
  
-My initial intention had been to start the story in a completely different place and then move it to the same place as the canon 'verse, but the characters wouldn't let me. (Pushy, pushy characters!) I got as close as I could while preserving OTH characters as they would have developed in this 'verse. Call it my contribution to the nature vs. nurture debate.  
  
-A number of elements of canon that might have been well used have been left out because this monster is quite long enough already. Forewarned is forearmed.  
  
-As in life, the terms two guard and shooting guard are used interchangeably.  
  
-A guardian ad litem is someone who represents a minor child for the purposes of a specific legal proceeding, and is nothing like a regular guardian.  
  
-IANAL and everything I know about family court comes from way too much Judging Amy. Also, I have never set foot in Vegas and have no idea why I chose it, but I believe I safely blame Josh Duhamel.  
  
-This has not been beta'd.  
  
-There are some other notes at the end. 


	2. What happens in Vegas hardly ever stays

What Happens in Vegas Hardly Ever Stays in Vegas

Vegas. City of Lights. No, that was Paris. City of Different Lights. Whatever. Temporary home of all the Ford dealers in the US for the next three days. At least it wasn't Detroit. Or Atlanta... God, he hated Atlanta. Bunch of uptight career-driven pretend Southerners, born inPassaic or Kenosha... At least here there were a lot of partially dressed women for him to ogle.

And now he could look and touch, if he wanted to. No more wife to consider. No more marriage to protect. Absentmindedly he rubbed his finger, still feeling the slight crease where the ring should be, even after more than a year. But no more ring. Just a stack of papers, two lawyers that were wealthier than they had been before, and one bitter, sullen boy, shuttling between two houses every other week. Not that he had a house anymore... She'd seen to that. Best he could do for the moment was a two bedroom apartment in what was admittedly a very good building. It also had a park next door, with a basketball court. That was what sold him... the court. At least this way he and Lucas could still practice.

It had seemed such a perfect idea. Marry the high school sweetheart, even if the marriage was somewhat hastened by an unexpected pregnancy. Dropping out of college had been an easy choice, especially after his knee injury took away any hope of playing real ball. He'd worked his way up in the dealership to sales manager, eventually making VP of Sales over the whole Harris group. He and Karen had been happy. They'd had enough money to give Lucas good things. Karen had even started her own little cafe. It was good - got her out of the house once Lucas started school. It was never going to make her rich, but it made her happy, and what made her happy made him happy.

But that was before... Before he discovered romantic fairy tale love only can only survive in fairy tales. Before junior leagues and Lucas showing real talent on the court. Karen said he was pushing their son too hard, but didn't she see? She knew what good ball looked like, how could she not see his potential? All it needed was some direction, someone to guide him and bring out his gift. By the time Lucas was 14 and a freshman in high school, he was ready to try out for varsity. He'd have made it too, if Whitey hadn't trumped up some stupid rule about not letting freshmen on the varsity team. Old meddler. Long past time he needed to get out of coaching. Anyway, by then Karen had kicked him out, and the fairy tale had fractured, cleanly down the middle, with his son split in two. He'd retreated into books and never wanted to practice anymore. His game was slipping badly, and nothing Dan said seemed to get through. The only consolation he had was that Lucas seemed to hate both his parents equally right now. Karen he could understand, she'd booted the boy's father out of their house after all, but he didn't understand Lucas' anger toward him. Lucas knew Dan was only looking out for him.

He checked his watch. 45 minutes before he had to get ready for the banquet. Enough time to catch the news and maybe grab a quick nap. Maybe he'd call Lucas.... No, that's right. Away game. Tomorrow then. He grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. The traditional perky blonde was trying to look serious. Must be a "real" news story, he thought idly. Great boobs though... All thoughts of the relative merits of real vs. silicone were driven out of his head by a photo, though. Another blonde. One he knew for a fact had killer boobs, and everything else. A quiet smile. A quick laugh. Skin that had felt like silk. A kind heart. His one big regret of his brief time in college. Deb. He reached for the remote and turned up the volume.

"The gunmen entered the bank just after opening and forced Carver to override the time lock and open the vault. What they didn't know is that the regular cash delivery had been held up by the pileup this morning in the interstate, and when they found less than $75,000 in the vault, witnesses say that they shot Carver point blank in retribution. Debra Carver, 34, leaves behind a 15 year old son."

The perky blonde went on to give the details of the subsequent chase, shootout, and arrest of the surviving bank robbers, but Dan heard nothing after the words "... 15 year old son". She must have wanted to tell him. That must have been it. He'd gone to her, to tell her about Karen, and the baby, and how he had to leave school and her. He'd said "I have something to tell you" and she'd said "me too" and she had started to say something about how important their relationship was, and he'd felt he had to stop her, tell her that their important relationship was over. And she'd cried and left and now that he thought about it, she never really had gotten to her point. Numbly, he reached into the mini-bar and took out every single little tiny bottle of $7.50 scotch, poured them into a tumbler, and downed it in one gulp. Then he shook his head, grabbed his wallet and roomkey and went downstairs to hail a cab.


	3. On the appropriate use of the past and p

On the Appropriate Use of the Past and Present Tenses

"Sir, you can't simply march in here, claim to be a boy's father, and walk out with him. There are procedures that have to be followed. You have absolutely no proof. You don't even know if your name is on his birth certificate."

"Look, I haven't seen his mother in more than 15 years. I didn't know she was pregnant when we broke up. But the timing fits. I'll do whatever you want, paternity test, whatever. But by some fluke I'm here when this happened. I can't believe that's by accident."

"Fine. We have detectives looking for the boy's birth certificate now. If your name is on it, we can discuss how to proceed. If it's not, you can take a paternity test. But those results take a few days to come back. And Ms. Carver may have made other arrangements for her son already - we won't know until we find her will."

"She's just going to have to unmake them. He's my son and he's coming home with me."

The social worker started a little. The large man had been a hassle from the moment he'd walked in the door, but this last statement was a little much. "She can hardly unmake her will, Mr. Scott. She's dead."

Dan flushed a little at his slip, but none of the arrogance left his expression. "I still have priority over whatever is in her will, as the father."

"You're that sure he's your son, then?"

"Everything fits. He's mine."

The social worker sighed. The thing was, she knew this impossible, rude, cold man was probably right, because the boy's middle name was Scott. His mother must have been acknowledging his paternity in that, if nowhere else. This poor child was going to lose his mother and gain a miserable excuse for a father in one fell swoop. Sometimes God had a vicious sense of humor. But Carver's friends at the bank had said she apparently didn't have any other family, so there wasn't even anyone to challenge his claim. Just then her phone rang. "Lopez... Yeah? Okay, thanks. Do me a favour and bring everything over here? No, believe it or not, I don't think that's going to be a problem... Because he's sitting right here in front of me. Yeah. Conference. I know. No, he'll stay OTC tonight and I'll get the paperwork going in the morning. Thanks." She hung up. "Well, Mr. Scott, it seems your confidence was justified. Ms. Carver did indeed name you as the father on the birth certificate. They also found a will giving you custody in the event of her death, as well as sealed envelopes with your names on them. They'll bring it all over here as soon as they wrap up. In the meantime..." She stood. "Would you like to come meet your son?"

Dan stood, suddenly feeling a little nauseous, but refusing to let it show. This was just stage fright. Like before a big game. He could do this. He had Lucas. He knew how to talk to teenage boys. Mrs. Lopez lead him through the hall to a large dining room, crowded with kids. It was like a high school, but there was a darker feel to it. More malevolent, hostile even. "Wait here," she ordered, and so thrown was he by the anger swirling around him, he did. He saw her approach a dark-haired boy sitting alone, with an untouched tray of food in front of him, staring into the middle distance. It was at that moment he realized he'd forgotten to ask Mrs. Lopez the boy's name. He was about to meet his son for the first time without even knowing his name. The nausea returned. But there wasn't time, no time, because the boy was standing, and he was tall, taller than Lucas, and they were walked toward him, closer, closer, as the room got so so small; so small there was no longer any room for air to breathe, all these damaged, bitter kids using all the oxygen so he had none, and then suddenly he was in front of him, looking at him with his mother's eyes, those same betrayed eyes she'd looked at him with when he told her about Karen... "Nathan, this is your father. Dan Scott."

Nathan said absolutely nothing until after Mrs. Lopez had brought them to a conference room and left them alone, saying she'd be back in a bit with the letters. Even then there was nothing for a few minutes. It's hard to start a conversation when you can't even make eye contact, and Dan couldn't bear to see those eyes again. Finally Nathan spoke. "Why are you here?"

"I saw the news. I saw Deb... your Mom. I came right over."

"No, I mean, why are you in Nevada? Mom told me you lived in South Carolina."

Dan winced. A die hard Tarheel, he had no wish to be so badly misidentified. "North Carolina, actually. I'm here for a dealer conference. I live in the same town I grew up in. Place called Tree Hill. It's a nice little town. You'll like it there."

"I'm not going."

"Nathan..."

"No. You can't just show up after 15 years and say 'surprise here I am now move to the other side of the country.' It's not fair."

Dan sighed. "No it's not. But that's where I live. Apparently that's where your mom wanted you to go should anything happen to her. And as for not being around until now, that's hardly fair. I didn't even know you existed until 2 hours ago."

The angry look didn't leave Nathan's face. "Mom said you didn't want her. You went back to your old girlfriend."

"That's... Well, true, if somewhat overly simplified. But here is the important thing. You must believe me Nathan, I didn't know she was pregnant when I left."

Nathan was obviously not going to let it go without a challenge. "What would you have done if you'd known?"

Dan started to speak, and then paused. "I don't know. My girlfriend from high school was pregnant. I can't know what I would have done if I had to choose between Deb and Karen on more equal terms. I loved your mom, I really did, but Karen was pregnant. Going on the info I had, I had to give priority to the baby."

"You didn't really answer my question."

"No, but then it's not really answerable. Even if I could, it wouldn't change the past."

There was a pause before Nathan spoke again. The challenge in his voice was gone, and he sounded so much younger. "Did you really? Love her?"

"Yes," Dan responded. "I mean, we were only together for a short while, but I could see a future with her. Your mother was kind, and gentle, and loving. She brought a special feeling to my life."

"She always describes you as very driven. Focused is the word she uses."

Dan noted the use of the present tense, but restrained himself from correcting the boy. "I don't deny that. I make a goal and then I achieve it. That's what you have to do if you want to succeed in life. But enough about me. Tell me about you. Do you play basketball?"

"A little when I was younger. Not now."

"What position?

"Shooting guard."

Dan smiled widely. "Same position as me and Lucas! That's my boy. What was your average?"

Nathan flinched a little at the words "That's my boy" but answered. "I don't really remember. It was a long time ago." He paused. "Who is Lucas?"

""My son. Your brother. Well, half-brother I suppose. He's... when's your birthday?"

"June."

"Okay, so he's 3 months older than you. He plays varsity for the Tree Hill Ravens, although if he doesn't get his game back on track and pronto he's gonna lose that shooting guard spot. Don't worry, we'll get you back in shape and on the squad."

Nathan arched an eyebrow. "Varsity? Isn't that reaching a little? I haven't played more than neighborhood games since elementary school."

Dan waved away his objections. "Don't be ridiculous. You're my son, and genes will tell. You'll be ready in no time. Why'd you stop, anyway?"

"It reminded Mom too much of you. She isn't the kind of person to come right out and say it, but once after a game, I heard her crying in her room. So I quit."

This time, Dan spoke. "Wasn't, Nathan."

"Huh?"

"You said isn't. Present tense. Your mom is gone. Past tense."

Nathan stood up. "You... you absolute jackass. Mom chooses to cut you out of my life entirely rather than accept anything from you, and you're going to sit there and give me lessons in grammar?! What kind of person are you? I know my mother's dead! You think I don't know? I got to see her brain splattered all over the evening news!" He was screaming now, and pointing to his own head. "What the hell is running through your veins? Do you even have a heart? Forget this. Mom obviously wasn't thinking straight when she named you guardian. There's no way I'm going anywhere with you."

There was a slight ahem from the door. It was Mrs. Lopez holding some papers and three white, sealed envelopes. "Bad time?"

Dan stood while Nathan sat down in disgust. "No, I'd say it was just about perfect. Are those..."

"Yes, Mr. Scott. Why don't we leave Nathan here and you and I can go talk in my office." She handed one of the envelopes to Nathan. "We found this in your mother's desk, along with her will and other important papers. I'll be back in to talk to you in a few minutes."

She lead Dan back to her office and gestured for him to take a seat. "Mr. Scott, there's a wrinkle. Debra Carver's will did not name you as Nathan's sole guardian."

Dan stared at her, shocked. "But you said..."

"Let me finish. It names you as guardian, together with who I assume is your wife. Karen Scott?" She picked up a blue-bound document off her desk. " The exact text reads 'Custody of my son Nathan shall go to Daniel and Karen Scott of Tree Hill, NC.'" She handed him the folder so he could see for himself. He glanced at it and then dropped it, hands scorched.

"Then we have a problem. Karen and I got divorced a little over a year ago."

Mrs. Lopez frowned. "This is going to be a challenge. The will doesn't make provisions for sole guardianship. As it stands, you and your ex-wife share custody of this boy."

"Not going to happen. She's not getting her hooks into another one of my children."

Mrs. Lopez sighed, and wondered how this man had ever gotten not one but two women to sleep with him, much less bear him children. "That's going to be for a judge to decide. Right now, as far as the State of Nevada is concerned, Nathan belongs to us. Once we have the hearing tomorrow, you'll be granted emergency custody based on the fact that you're here, and the birth certificate, but the permanent custody hearing will be based on any number of factors including the will, which names both of you, and what is in Nathan's best interests. Would you like to call her, or should I?"

Dan had missed the last statement. "Wait, tomorrow? Why can't I bring him home tonight?"

"Because, Mr. Scott, the State of Nevada is not giving emergency custody to a tourist whose sole Nevada residence is 'Room 1273, The Mirage'! That's just not how things work. Nathan will stay here tonight and tomorrow we'll go in front of a judge. Then I'll get the paperwork started to transfer the whole matter of permanent custody to North Carolina's jurisdiction, and once they accept the case, you and Nathan can leave Nevada, but not before. The will itself will have to be executed in Nevada, but she's named her lawyer as her executor, so that's not your problem. He'll take care of selling the house and settling the rest of it."

Dan perked up. "House? What if I took Nathan to Deb's house tonight? That way he could sleep in his own room at least. I promise I won't run off with him." He meant it too. Nothing that would give them any leeway to rule Karen had rights over this boy.

Mrs. Lopez leaned back and considered for a moment. "Okay, I'll let you take him back to his house tonight. Be back here tomorrow, 8 am sharp. I've got an emergency hearing in front of Judge Nevins at 10 am and there's a lot of paperwork. Do you know a local lawyer?"

Dan shook his head. She pulled out a stack of business cards. "These are all lawyers who specialize in family law. You can use my phone if you want, but get someone in there. While you're making phone calls, consider calling your ex-wife as well. She needs to know what's going on, the sooner the better, but I can call her if you want. While you're doing that, I'm going to go down and speak with Nathan. You might want to also read your letter. There's one for Karen as well, but I'll take care of getting that to her." She didn't say she didn't trust Dan to make sure Karen got her letter.

Once she was gone, Dan picked up the phone. Deciding to get the easy one out of the way first, he called the hotel and left messages for the other two people there from Harris, letting them know what was going on and that he probably wouldn't be back at the conference, and could they please call Susan Harris and let her know. Then he started on the lawyers, calling 8 before he found one who could be in court the next morning. He was a little worried-how good could this guy be if he was free on a moment's notice, but he sounded competent over the phone, so that would have to do for now. Last, he dialed Karen's number, formerly his number. Please please please he whispered to himself as he heard it ring... Don't let Lucas answer. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with his son over the phone. Luckily, his prayers were answered. "Hello?" came the once much-loved female voice over the distant wires.


	4. The professionalism of social workers

The Professionalism of Social Workers

Back in the conference room, Mrs. Lopez found Nathan still toying with an unopened envelope. "You haven't read your letter yet?"

Nathan looked up and Mrs. Lopez flinched a little at the expression on his face. "I hate him. I don't want to go with him. Please don't make me."

Mrs. Lopez twisted inside and tried to remember a time when she'd loved her job. Nope, nothing. "Nathan, today is possibly the worst day of your life. Don't go making permanent decisions on a day like this. You have to go somewhere. And he is your father."

Nathan huffed and looked away. "He's a genetic donor. Hardly qualifies him to be a dad."

Mrs. Lopez sat and took Nathan's hand. This sad boy, so close to being destroyed. Maybe he already was. "Give him a chance. He's in a weird place too. He at least knows what it means to raise a child. And you'll have a brother, too."

Nathan didn't respond and Mrs. Lopez felt the twist tighten. Finally he whispered. "It's just been me and her, my whole life. Her family disowned her when she told them she was going to have a baby. I've never even met them. How do I go from that to brothers and fathers? How do I leave my home and friends for a place I've never even seen? It's not fair." By now he was crying, and the little piece of Mrs. Lopez that hadn't been killed by a thousand stories like this and worse cried with him.

"I won't lie to you. It won't be easy. The next few months are probably going to be harder than any boy your age should ever have to deal with. But remember your mom. Everyone at the bank loved her, and said she was a wonderful mother. Your neighbors said the same. You have the right tools to make it through this, because of her. She gave you what you need. Dan, well, he's just caught off guard. But he did come charging in to my office, determined to give you a home, the minute he found out about you. That at least says something." She held back her opinion that it said he was an arrogant, possessive jerk. She had the feeling Nathan would figure that out on his own. "There is one more thing, you know. Your mom didn't give custody to Dan alone. She also named his wife. They're divorced, so it's going to be a nightmare to figure it out, but right now, you have a stepmom. Karen may be the right person to help you through this." Lord, how she hoped so.

Nathan looked up at the word stepmom. "I don't want her. I don't want another mother."

"She won't be another mother. She'll be another woman who might, if you'll let her, play a role in your life. Just... Nathan, you are alone in the world right now. Give these people a chance, at least." Nathan looked at her, miserable, and finally gave a brief, tiny nod. She took his hand and smiled. "Dan and I have agreed he can take you back to your house tonight. Tomorrow there's a hearing, and after that more hearings and paperwork. Even though you don't technically qualify, I'm requesting a Court Appointed Special Advocate for you, because of the circumstances. They'll be here to talk to you tomorrow morning before the hearing. The CASA's job is to represent your interests, sort of like a lawyer but not. You can tell him or her whatever you want. They'll also talk to Dan and me, to try and get a larger picture of the situation. I'm going to go check on Dan. Why don't you read your letter, and then you can go home." She left Nathan, alone with his thoughts, and his letter. Finally, he opened it.

"My dear sweet boy..."


	5. The Presence of the Past

The Presence of the Past

Mrs. Lopez found Dan stewing at her desk. "Is everything okay? Did you get a lawyer?"

"Yes. It's just... Karen. She can push my buttons better than anyone else. She wants to tell Lucas tonight. This is something he should hear from me, not her. But I can't do it over the phone, and it's going to be a while before I can get back there."

"You could always fly back to North Carolina and explain it to him and then come back for the final hearing," Mrs. Lopez suggested, for once actually agreeing with this pain in her ass.

Dan gave her a look. "I'm not leaving Nevada without my son."

Mrs. Lopez gave up. It was just going to be a miserable few weeks, she knew it. "Well, it's late, and I have to finish up all the paperwork. Why don't you and Nathan go back to Ms. Carver's house? The guard at the front desk can call you a cab. Remember, 8 am, sharp. Family court is right next door."

"Okay. I'll go get him." Dan stood to leave and Mrs. Lopez moved to reclaim her desk.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked. He looked confused for a moment, and then appropriately embarrassed as she handed him Deb's envelope, as yet unopened.

The house was exactly what he would have expected from Deb. Warm and comfortable, with pictures of Nathan everywhere. Nathan, who had said not one word to him the whole cab ride back and had immediately disappeared into the bathroom, from which shower sounds emitted almost immediately. Dan didn't blame him, he wanted to shower that place off him as quickly as possible as well. In the meantime, he settled for calling the hotel concierge and asking them to pack up his room and bring it over. One thing you could never fault Vegas for was the service in their hotels and the cheerful voice assured him it would be taken care of immediately, no doubt at significant damage to his hotel bill.

While he was waiting, he examined the pictures. Toddler Nathan, playing in a sandbox. First day of kindergarten. He and Deb clowning in someone's kitchen. What looked like a Thanksgiving pageant, Nathan dressed as an Indian in construction paper feathered headdress. They had a similar shot of Lucas, dressed as a Pilgrim, in the dining room. Lucas hated it. Now, here was a good one. He took the small framed shot off the wall. Nathan looked about 11. He was leaning casually against a gym wall with a basketball tucked loosely under one arm, wearing shorts and jersey. He looked good. Natural. Yep, Dan smiled to himself, breeding will always show. Nathan was going to make a great ball player.

"Everything meet with your approval?"

Dan started. He hadn't heard Nathan come in. "I was just looking at your pictures. Trying to get a sense of your life."

Nathan took the basketball photo out of his hands and put it back on its hook. "My life was happy. Mom and I were happy. That should be enough for now."

"Was?"

Nathan smiled bitterly. "Past tense, remember? I'm a quick learner. Don't you dare sleep in her bed. There's a futon in the office. I put a set of sheets on it. And jiggle the toilet handle or it'll run all night." He turned to leave the room.

"Wait," Dan said, stopping him. "Don't you want to eat something? I know you didn't eat dinner."

"Not hungry." Nathan left without anything further and Dan heard a door close a little harder than was necessary.

After finding the promised futon, unpacking his luggage and getting cleaned up, and eating a solitary meal out of the well-stocked refrigerator, Dan knew he couldn't put it off anymore. The sealed envelope had been mocking him all evening. It was time to know what Deb had to say for herself.

"Dan-

I didn't know you long enough to know how you're responding to this. By now, you know you have a son I never told you about. You probably think I was selfish, keeping him to myself the way I did. That's partly true. I had always wanted to be a mother, and I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't wait to tell you. But you told me your surprise first, and just like that it was all gone. I admit, at first it was spite. You'd never even told me about Karen, much less that you'd known she was pregnant the whole time we were dating. I rationalized it by saying if you were going to choose her and her baby over me, you didn't deserve to know about Nathan. Later I realized that was completely unfair, but by then it was too late. You were gone, married, and I just had no idea how to tell you.

I went to Tree Hill once when Nathan was a year old, to try and tell you. I got your address from the phone book and went to your house. You and Karen were getting ready to go somewhere, and you were putting bags in the car. Karen was carrying your son, who was pulling her hair up like rabbit ears and saying "Bunny!" over and over. You were both laughing, and you looked so happy. I didn't want to ruin that for you. So I just left; kept driving until I found myself in Las Vegas, and I stayed. Got a job, raised my son, and tried to tell myself I was doing the best thing for both of you. But now he's 14, and I can tell he feels the loss. How can he lose something he's never had? But he does. He asks me about you every now and then and I try to tell him as much of the truth as he'll understand. He's a good kid, but I think he resents you. I tell him it's not your fault, that it was my decision, but it's hard to a boy his age to understand why he has no father. You're going to inherit the damage from that, which, I think, more than anything, is what I have to apologize for. He really is a good boy, happy, friendly, and well-behaved. He gets decent if not great grades. There's just this gaping hole in his soul where you should have been.

And, since you're reading this, there is now one where I should be as well. It's on you and Karen to make him whole again. I knew you well enough to know that you're fundamentally a good man, when you get your mind off basketball. I know nothing about Karen beyond that brief glimpse 13 years ago, but you chose her over me, so she can't be a bad person if you could see a future with her you couldn't see with me.

I don't regret your choice, or mine. You were happy, and you gave me a son I could not have loved any more, or made me any happier, if he'd been designed to order. Nathan is the best thing I've ever done with my life, even if I couldn't always give him what he wanted or deserved. I did what I could for him, but God has decided my part is done. I'm relying on both you and Karen to take my son and raise him the rest of the way. Give him a family, a brother, and a home. Give him love and joy and compassion for the rest of his life. He deserves nothing less.

Deb

(PS - I've rewritten this letter every year for the past 13 years. If you want to see the old versions, my lawyer has them. The first few are... Well, I don't feel that way about you anymore.)"

Dan put the letter down. He heard her voice in her words, that sweet, gentle voice that had always made him feel a little brighter, had gotten him through his knee injury, had made his brief college career happy. As he put the letter away, all he could think was, why, that night 16 years go, hadn't he let her talk first? How different would his life be? With those troubled thoughts he slid into an uneasy sleep.


	6. The guy with the gavel is the one in cha

The Guy with the Gavel is the One in Charge, Mr. Scott

The courtroom the next morning was a zoo. Dan, for the life of him, couldn't figure out what all those people were doing there. An elderly steel-gazed woman who introduced herself as "Ruth Plumber, Nathan's CASA" had grabbed Nathan the minute they had walked in the door. Mrs. Lopez said she was there to be Nathan's voice during the proceedings, which made Dan nervous. He didn't think Nathan was necessarily going to argue Dan's case for him. "Don't worry," Mrs. Lopez assured him. "You'll be speaking to her before the hearing." And he had, although it hadn't gone well. Ms. Plumber turned out to be a retired middle school principal, and incredibly intimidating. Dan didn't handle intimidation well, and the resulting "conversation" had quickly become stiff and hostile. Nathan was still not speaking to him, his back was killing him from the lumpy futon, and there were way too many people in this courtroom. The judge seemed to think so too.

"Who the hell are all you people? This is supposed to be an emergency custody hearing, not a circus. Let's start with the boy. Nathan Carver?" The judge squinted over his reading glasses and found the youngest person in the room. "That'd be you, young man. And I see Mrs. Plumber is here as your CASA, excellent. Nice to see you Ruth. I recognize Nina Lopez from DSS, and I'm assuming you're Daniel Scott?" He said to Dan.

Dan nodded and stood. "Yes, Your honor. Nathan is my son."

"So sayeth the birth certificate, and therefore so sayeth the law Mr. Scott. I see you have Mr. D'Antonio to represent you, but I seem to have a few too many lawyers. Mr. Stamp, please explain your presence.

A thin man wearing a very expensive suit stood. "Your honor, I'm here to represent the estate of Debra Carver."

"Excellent, excellent. And you, Ms. Johnson? It seems to me that all the interested parties are now represented."

An older woman stood. "No your honor. I am representing Karen Roe Scott, who is jointly named as Nathan Carver's guardian in Debra Carver's will. Ms. Roe regrets she is unable to be here in person, your honor, but she received the news very late last night and was unable to arrange transportation and child care for her son, Nathan's brother, in time to make the trip from North Carolina."

Dan spun and stared at the woman. Karen... What the hell was she playing at? She knew this had nothing to do with her. He'd made that very clear last night.

The judge harrumphed. "Well, given this is very preliminary, I don't see a problem with her absence. I assume you can adequately represent her at this time?"

"Yes your honor. We spoke for several hours last night."

"Good, then let's get this started. This hearing is to determine an emergency custody arrangement for Nathan Scott Carver, sole child of Debra Carver, deceased as of yesterday. And Mr. arver," he said, looking up for a moment. "Allow me to say that I am deeply sorry for your loss, and I'm sure most of the rest of Las Vegas joins me in that sentiment." Nathan whispered a quick thank you and looked away, and the judge returned to business. "Petitioner is Daniel Scott. Mr. Scott please state your full name and address for the record."

After the preliminaries were out of the way, with Karen's attorney adding her name as a joint petitioner, the judge got into the major issues. "The first problem I see here is that Mr. Scott and Ms. Roe are both residents of North Carolina and this is a Nevada court. Mrs. Lopez, how are we fixing this?"

The social worker stood. "Your honor, I've already made contact with the Union County Department of Social Welfare, and they've assigned a social worker to Nathan's case. We're working on the paperwork to get the issue of permanent custody transferred to North Carolina's jurisdiction. We're only interested in custody until that can happen so Mr. Scott can legally take Nathan home with him."

"And is that the best option, Mrs. Plumber? Does Mr. Scott here have what is needed to be this boy's father?"

Dan exploded out of his chair. "I am his father, your honor. That gives- " His lawyer's hand on his arm, together with the judge's stare, made him stop and sit down again.

"Noone is questioning that you contributed the appropriate amount of genetic material, Mr. Scott. I just like to know we've explored all the options for this boy. Mrs. Plumber?"

"Your honor, I've spoken to Nathan at length, and to Mr. Scott and Mrs. Lopez. I also got a chance to speak to Ms. Johnson and Mr. Stamp briefly. While I admit to some concerns about this solution, especially given the recent dissolution of the Scott's marriage, there are no other options available beyond placement in a group home here, and given the precipitating circumstances of this hearing, I feel that would be far more damaging than Mr. Scott and Ms. Roe's care. Mr. Stamp assures me that due to family issues there is no one else in Ms. Carver's family who will take Nathan in. Most importantly, Nathan has indicated that he is willing to give it a chance, so I believe for now at least we should uphold the guardianship provisions of Debra Carver's will and grant temporary custody to Dan Scott and Karen Roe Scott."

The judge nodded. "That brings up another pickle. As Mrs. Plumber stated, the two parties named in the will are no longer married and there are no provisions covering this in the will. Mr. Stamp, care to tell me why you neglected to cover that eventuality when you drew up this will?"

The expensive suit stood. "Your honor, I would have to say, based on my conversations with Ms. Carver, that such an eventuality simply never occurred to her. She described them as very happy, and said they would make a good family for Nathan. That was why she went so far as to specifically name both of them. She said after going all his life with only a mother, she wanted to make sure that should anything happen to her he would be going to a home with two parents."

"But he's not, now, is he, and I trust you've learned your lesson for the future, Mr. Stamp." The lawyer nodded, flushing a little. "Mr. Scott, what are the custody arrangements in regard to your other son?"

"We share custody sir, alternating weeks. We live very close to each other, so it's a fluid arrangement."

Karen's lawyer spoke up. "Ms. Roe is willing and ready to extend that arrangement to Nathan, your honor."

"Don't be ridiculous, Ms. Johnson. This boy just lost his mother under sudden and extraordinary circumstances. I am not sending him straight from that into a broken home. However, Ms. Carver's will is very clear that both individuals were to share guardianship, so I think that's how I'll leave it, with sole physical custody to Daniel Scott. And might I add that I'm very glad right now I'm not a family court judge in North Carolina. I understand you're staying in Ms. Carver's house?" Dan murmured his assent. "Good. Give the boy a familiar place for now. Now, I want everyone but Nathan, Mr. Scott, Mr. D'Antonio, and Mrs. Plumber out of here. No Ms. Johnson, you may not stay. We'll stay on the record and you can read it later. Everyone, out."

Once the room was cleared, the judge turned his attention to Dan. "I'm not happy about that outburst, Mr. Scott. You already have a son, so you know it takes more to be a father than simple biology. But, you do seem willing to try. Just to be sure, I am appointing Mrs. Plumber here guardian ad litem for all matters related to this and any future custody hearings. Is that agreeable with you Mrs. Plumber?"

"Of course, your honor. This is a good boy in a bad situation. I'd be honored to continue speaking for him."

"Excellent. Now that that's settled "

"Your honor," d'Antonio interrupted. "There is one small problem with that. Mrs. Plumber is a resident of Nevada and permanent custody will be argued in North Carolina. We can hardly ask her to travel across the country as a volunteer."

"Not a problem," Mrs. Plumber smiled. "There's a reason Nina asked me to take this one on. I have a house in Gaston County and can easily stay there for the hearing.

The judge smiled. "See, I knew Nina Lopez would be thinking ahead. Thank you. If there are no other objections? Right, Ruth Plumber is guardian ad litem for Nathan Carver in all matters related to custody and guardianship, so ordered. Nathan, would you give us a moment alone please?" Nathan after a brief look at Dan stood and left. "Now, one more thing. Mr. Scott. I've had a lot of kids in this court room, and that is one of the most damaged and angry young men I've ever seen. He needs intensive counseling, and lots of it. Will you see to it he gets it?"

Dan humphed. "I was raised to solve my own problems your honor. We don't involve outsiders in our family business."

"I can make it a judicial order, if you like."

He threw his hands up. "Fine. I'll get him some therapy."

"Good," said the judge signing and closing the folder. "The sooner the better. Nina can point you to some excellent family therapists here in Las Vegas for emergency counseling and then you can find someone in Tree Hill." Or Charlotte, Dan thought to himself. No way he was going to be seen going into a therapist's office in his home town. "Bailiff, get all those lawyers back in here. We have to set a second date. At which time there will probably be even more lawyers."


	7. A rocky start in a sandy land

A Rocky Start in a Sandy Land

The next two weeks were a nightmare. The therapist Mrs. Lopez recommended was fully as useless as Dan had expected, and despite daily sessions, it was a rare day when Nathan said more than 10 sentences to him. They were able, with the help of Deb's friends, to get the house mostly packed up. Her will had stipulated that anything Nathan didn't want was to be sold, go to charity, or otherwise disposed of. Any money made from the sale of the house would be held in trust for Nathan's college, along with her small savings and a few stocks and bonds. The lawyer suggested they leave some of the larger furniture, since the house would sell faster if it looked like someone lived there. All of Deb's clothing was donated, as was most of the kitchen stuff. A few of her friends took some of the furniture and Nathan kept her jewelry and some knick-knacks, in addition to a few of her books and the pictures and other personal objects. And one more thing. Per the terms of her will, Deb's remains were cremated and given to Nathan, so that he might bury or scatter the ashes near his new home and not have to trek back to Nevada to visit her. The urn sat on the mantle, somehow managing to be invisible and ever-present simultaneously.

Dan arranged for all Nathan's furniture and belongings to be shipped back to Tree Hill, although he had nowhere to put it right now in his two bedroom apartment. He'd spoken to Susan Harris, who owned the dealership group, and she had let him use his secretary to start apartment hunting for him, but it was a challenge finding an acceptable three bedroom so soon after the divorce. And the thought of Lucas and Nathan sharing a room seemed a little too much too soon.

Lucas, who was making the whole thing that much harder. Dan and Karen fought every night over the phone, first about her sending the lawyer, and then about what to tell Lucas. Finally about a week in, he'd finally snapped. "Fine! Put him on the phone!" and the conversation had gone about as well as any that started under such conditions could. Lucas was furious with him for, as he put it, "cheating" on his mother, even though they had not actually been going out at the time. Karen had, at least, supported him in that, reassuring Lucas that she didn't feel cheated on, but Lucas was apparently going to stick to his guns and stay angry. The one time Dan had asked him if he wanted to talk to Nathan, he'd refused. Which was good, since Nathan had been in the room, heard the suggestion, and immediately bolted.

So the situation could not have been more awkward when two days before the final Nevada hearing, Karen and Lucas had turned up on the doorstep. All Dan could do was gawp. Karen was her usual brittle yet collected self, while Lucas seemed to be at full seethe.

"What... what..."

"What are we doing here? My lawyer suggested I come for the final hearing. She said it would look good at the permanent custody hearing in North Carolina. Don't worry, I got a hotel room. Plus, I thought it would be good for Nathan and Lucas to meet on Nathan's home turf. He's going to be on Lucas' soon enough, so the first advantage should go to Nathan." And Dan had to admit to himself, that made a lot of sense. "You need to talk to him. I hate to say it, but you were right. That wasn't a conversation that should have happened over the phone."

Dan reeled. "Did you just..."

"Hey, don't get over inflated darling. You've been known to have your moments." She gave that quick grin, that little bit of mischievous fun he remembered so well. For a moment he could forget, but just a moment.

"Okay, but give me a minute. I need to explain this to Nathan. He's... He's not good. This is really hard on him."

"I'm sure. We'll wait here."

He found Nathan in the backyard, laying in a chair. "Nathan, I need to speak to you." The boy looked up, but didn't speak, as was normal. "Karen and Lucas are here. They'd like to meet you."

"Why?"

"Because, they are. They came for the hearing and Karen wants you and Lucas to have a chance to get to know each other before we go back to Tree Hill. You need to start to know the people who will be a part of your life." At least until he could get a judge to see reason and get Karen out of the equation, he added mentally.

Nathan resumed to staring at the horizon. "Whatever." Which from Nathan was over the top approval.

Dan looked back toward the house. He could see Karen lecturing Lucas, and knew she was probably telling him to be on his best behavior. Fat chance. It had been two years since that had happened. He waved them out, and after introductions, Lucas immediately proved Dan right.

"So. Sorry your Mom got shot in the head."

Stereo barks of "Lucas!" did nothing to stop him. "What? It's true. I'm just expressing my condolences to my new brother." Karen and Dan both heard the slight sarcasm he'd given to that last word. Dan grabbed his arm and dragged him back to the house, leaving Karen with Nathan.

"Now you listen here young man. I will not tolerate that attitude from you. Nathan is your brother and deserves your respect, not the same shitty behavior your mother and I have been getting from you for the last two years. Now you shape up and be civil. Got it?"

Lucas gave his trademark smirk and nodded. "Sure Dad. Whatever you say Dad. I'll make little brother out there feel welcome in our happy family." But Dan, looking across the lawn to where Karen was trying to coax a few words out of Nathan, had a feeling that was the last thing on his older son's mind.


	8. If you want something badly

If You Want Something Badly...

The next two days were hard. Nathan and Lucas would barely speak, and then only if absolutely necessary. Karen seemed to be having a little more luck with Nathan, but that wasn't saying much. Dan was ecstatic when the day of the hearing came.

The judge was right. There was one more lawyer. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jonathan Goddard, your honor. I'm representing the State of North Carolina in this matter."

"Good, tell me you're ready to take this mess off my hands."

"Yes your honor. We've received all the materials and are ready to take over under the laws of North Carolina."

"Good. Never been so glad to see the backside of a case in my life. Now, I understand we also have Ms. Roe with us. Good to meet you my dear. You are continuing to assert your guardianship rights under Ms. Carver's will, I assume?"

Karen stood. "Yes your honor. I know it seems odd, for me to petition for custody for a child I have no biological or other claim to, but I'm raising his brother, and I, well, I got this letter. From Debra. She had written it to me in case something happened to her, and Mrs. Lopez sent it to me. She makes it very clear that she wants me to do this. I can't deny her that."

"Do you have the letter with you?"

"I have it right here, your honor," Ms. Johnson said, as she passed it to the bailiff for conveyance to the judge.

"Excellent. Mr. Scott, I assume you received a similar letter, but I don't see a copy of it. What did yours say?"

"Pretty much the same your honor. That Karen and I should provide Nathan with a home and a family," Dan confirmed, reluctantly. He still couldn't understand why she was insisting on participating in this, when this boy was nothing to her, but two days of arguing about it whenever the boys weren't around hadn't made her see reason. His lawyer had told him to let it go for now and deal with it in the permanent hearing.

"See that the court in North Carolina receives a copy, will you? Well, given the very clear intentions of Ms. Carver's will, supported by both her lawyer and her own words, I see no reason not to uphold my earlier ruling even given the circumstances."

Lucas, who had been sitting in the back of the room, muttered something, making the judge notice him for the first time. "You, young man, who are you? What are you doing in my courtroom?"

Lucas started, and stood. "Sorry sir. I'm Lucas Scott."

"Ah, the bouncing boy."

"Excuse me?" Lucas said, confused.

"Apparently you bounce between your parents' homes."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I thought it was some kind of basketball reference."

"No, no. But you had something to say earlier. Why don't you" he gestured to the crowded courtroom "share it with the rest of the class."

"Ah, no, it was nothing important."

"Please, it was important enough for you to interrupt the guy with the black robes and gavel, so spit it out."

Lucas paused. "It was just, when you said 'given the circumstances'. I assume you mean my parents' divorce and the fact that they can't stand each other, and all I could think was that my family puts the fun in dysfunctional." Dan glared at Lucas, while Karen gulped and Nathan sank even lower in his seat.

The judge stared at Lucas a moment. "Indeed... Well, young man, thank you for your comments. Mr. Goddard. You heard young Mr. Scott. Parents can't stand each other."

"Yes your honor."

"The fun in dysfunctional, eh."

"Yes your honor. If I may, I took the opportunity to briefly review the divorce proceedings in Scott vs. Scott. There does seem to be a fair amount of acrimony. Especially with regard to what is appropriate for their son."

"And now I'm giving them another one to fight over, is what you're saying. Well, that's my prerogative. I have to consider the wishes of Debra Carver as expressed in her will until wiser heads decide otherwise. It will have to be up to the good people of North Carolina to slice this Gordian knot in the best interests of Nathan Carver. See you don't end up splitting the baby at the same time."

"Yes, your honor."

"Well, just so you know what you're up against. Ms. Roe."

Karen jumped up. "Yes sir?"

"I assume your lawyer has explained the earlier ruling to you?"

"Yes sir. We are jointly responsible for Nathan, but he'll live full time with Dan."

"Indeed. And Mr. Scott."

"Yes sir?"

"I assume you've made arrangements to receive Nathan into your home."

Dan cleared his throat. "You see sir, given the suddenness of this, I'm still looking for a larger place. My apartment only has two bedrooms, one for me and one for Lucas. But my secretary, who is looking for me, has seen a few she thinks are possibilities. As soon as I can move Nathan will have his own room, but for now, the only alternative I can see is the sofa bed."

"Or," the judge said, leaning back in his chair, "Nathan can stay in Lucas' room until you move. I'm sure Ms. Roe won't object to a temporary interruption in this custody volley you have set up."

"No objections, your honor," interjected Karen's lawyer, over a snort from Lucas. "Or, as an alternative, Nathan and Dan can stay at Ms. Roe's house while they are looking for a place."

"See? We even have options. However, Ms. Johnson, I think I'll put my foot down to reuniting the Scott family under one roof. I'm sure Lucas won't mind giving up his bedroom for a few weeks to his brother." A second, louder snort told everyone exactly what Lucas thought of the idea, but he didn't express himself in words and the judge, despite obviously noticing, chose not to comment. "So be it. Sole temporary physical custody is awarded to Daniel Scott at his current residence in Tree Hill, North Carolina, with temporary legal custody jointly awarded Daniel Scott and Karen Roe Scott. Social Services in Union County will monitor the situation?"

"Yes your honor," confirmed the NC attorney. "The social worker, a Mrs. Patsy Lawlor, has already made a home visit to Karen Roe. She'll meet with Mr. Scott and Nathan as early as is convenient. Also, using the legal authority given in the earlier emergency ruling, Ms. Roe has enrolled Nathan in the local high school."

"Fantastic. So, it sounds like all the ducks are in a row. Have you made flight arrangements yet?"

"Yes sir," Dan's attorney said. "On the 18th. Two days."

"I know when the 18th is," the judge growled. "But thank you for the math help. So, the earlier ruling is upheld and as of the 18th of this month, this matter is officially transferred to the jurisdiction of Union County, North Carolina, where permanent custody will be adjudicated under the laws and procedures of North Carolina. Ruth Plumber remains as Nathan Carver's guardian ad litem, which I assume is not a problem for the State of North Carolina?" Mr. Goddard indicated his agreement. "Mr. Olson," the judge said, turning to his clerk, "make sure Mr. Goddard leaves here today with a copy of this transcript to go with the rest of the stack we've sent them already. Now, everyone out but young Mr. Carver and Mrs. Plumber." There was a general chaos as everyone moved out, leaving only Nathan and the steely-eyed former principal.

"Off the record please." The stenographer removed her hands from the keyboard. "Ruth, you know I'm not happy."

"I know, George."

"Are you okay with what I'm going to ask you to do for young Nathan here?"

"Absolutely. I've been thinking about it for a while. Already got most everything wrapped up at this end."

"Excellent. I'll miss you Ruth."

"You too George."

Nathan finally felt the need to interject. "Could someone please explain what is going on? What is Mrs. Plumber going to do for me?"

The judge moved out from behind the bench and sat next to Nathan. "Son, I don't know if today is your lucky day or not, but if it is, it won't be because of that pack of fools, at least not anytime soon. If I had any other option, I'd send you pretty much anywhere over home with that family. Situation sounds toxic. But, you did get one lucky break, which I strongly recommend you take advantage of. Mrs. Plumber here is the best CASA volunteer I've ever had the privilege to work with. I've watched her reduce grown men to tears and turn their lives around, really doing right by their kids for the first time in their lives. She's a pit bull for her clients. And you, my boy, are going to be the last one. She's staying with you for good."

Nathan looked at Mrs. Plumber, who nodded. "I don't get it. I thought I had to go live with Dan."

"Yes, Nathan, but remember when I said I had a house in Gaston County? You wouldn't know this but that's a barely an hour from Tree Hill. I'm going to move there permanently, not just for the hearings. I don't trust Dan. Karen seems okay but she's in a very weak position with regards to permanent custody. And that boy of theirs... He's got big problems. You need someone who is there just for you. Not just in court, but everywhere else too. Like your mom was. You'll make friends eventually. Your family will get over their issues and be what you need. But until then, you need at least one person who's on your side and noone else's. I'd like to be that person, if you'll let me." She took his hand, and gave it a little squeeze. Nathan stared at her hand. Her fingers. Old, wrinkled, spotty. So not like his mother's. But, yet, the same. The same energy underneath, the same knowledge that she wouldn't judge him.

"Okay," he whispered.

Mrs. Plumber moved in and gave him a quick hug that got longer when Nathan found he couldn't let go. He squeezed his eyes shut, stopping the tears. He wasn't going to cry, not going to cry, not going to... "It's okay, you know," she whispered in his ear. Damn. Now he was crying. He felt the judge move off and return, knowing without looking that he had brought a box of tissues.

"Look, for right now, I only want one thing from you, okay? Listen, because this is important."

Nathan grabbed a tissue and got himself under control. "What?"

"You told me you were willing to take a chance. You need to do that. It's on you to make that effort. Dan, well, his heart is in the right place, but no matter what he knows from raising Lucas, that won't be the same as raising you. Open yourself and your heart up to him. Don't punish him for not being there until now. Just let him know what you need now that he is here. Your mother believed he was a good person. Give him that much, at least. Karen and Lucas will come with time, but for now, open up to your father. Get to know him. Let him get to know you. Will you do that?"

Nathan nodded, miserably shredding his tissue.

"Good. I knew your mother raised you right. I'm going to go outside and grab Mr. Goddard before he leaves. George, could you point him to the washroom? I'll tell your family to wait for you outside."

In the bathroom, Nathan washed his face. Staring in the mirror, he wondered. Could he do this? Make the effort, take the chance, find his place in this instant family of strangers? Family... when he was a kid, he had pestered his mom for a little brother or sister. No, she'd always laughed. You're enough of a handful by yourself. She'd never said they couldn't afford it, although he'd figured that out on his own later. Her salary at the bank had been just enough to cover two, with very little extra left over. Now he had a lot more money and a brother, but it was nothing like he'd expected. And he had the thing he always wanted most... a father. A real father, who couldn't abandon him. He shook himself. He could make this work. He would make it work. He had to. He wanted this family.


	9. you gotta work for it

...You Gotta Work For It

Three weeks later, Nathan lay in the bathtub, feeling his muscles slowly seize up despite the scalding hot water, and wondered what in hell he'd been thinking. Nothing, no family, no father, no brother-if-only-in-name, was worth this.

First there was Dan and his basketball obsession. Nathan had noticed that he seemed fixated on it in Nevada, but that was nothing compared to what he was like back on his home turf. And it turned out the rest of the town shared in his obsession. Everywhere he went, everyone ate, drank, and spoke Tree Hill Ravens as if invoking a collection of deities. In the high school the starting lineup, as far as he could tell, could get away with anything. The teachers, the other students, noone seemed to put any limits on them. Lucas was one of the worst, walking around the school like he owned it. The one saving grace was that for now he was basically ignoring Nathan, only speaking to him to tell him not to touch any of his stuff.

Dan had woken him up the first morning to go on "a little run," which turned out to be three miles. The air was so humid he was dying after the first 10 minutes, but nothing was stopping Dan Scott and his quest to get Nathan on the varsity squad. In addition to the running, which turned out to be a daily event, there was training on the court in the park next door. Endless drills, shooting over and over again. Working on out weight equipment. And then, when they finally stopped the physical side, Dan would put on tapes of basketball games so he could "study the form." He'd already dragged Nathan in to meet with Whitey, who'd seemed like a nice enough guy, if a little cranky. Whitey had fortunately for Nathan been firm. He wasn't putting a boy with no prior experience on a "real" team directly onto the varsity team, no matter whose son he was. "He'll work his way up, just like you did, Dan, and that's it." So Nathan had joined the JV team, much to Lucas' and Dan's delight, although for different reasons. Nathan was just happy not to have to ride the same bus as Lucas. He had a feeling that would have been unbearable.

Otherwise, it wasn't as bad as he had been expecting. Karen, when she wasn't around Lucas or Dan, turned out to be a very nice lady. After school he would go to the caf‚ she owned to do homework until Dan picked him up after work. She had a girl working there, Haley, who was really nice, and had even offered to tutor him and help him get caught up. A few other people in school had made an effort to speak to him, although he noticed it was never when Lucas or any of his cronies were around. Except for one person. He'd found a convenient tree to eat lunch under, away from the rest of the students since he and Lucas had the same lunch period, when a blonde girl stood up from Lucas' table and came over to him. "Hey. You're Lucas' brother, right?"

"That's the rumor," he replied utterly baffled by what this girl, who he knew for a fact was a varsity cheerleader, was doing talking to him. The only thing he could think of was some kind of scheme Lucas was hatching. "I'm Nathan. Carver," he hastily added. He'd already had more than one person call him Nathan Scott and he wanted it very clear his last name was not Scott. He'd lost his mom, but he wasn't going to lose her name. Plus it reminded him of when she would get mad at him and use both his first and middle names. That was always a sure sign to get outta Dodge.

"Hey, I'm Peyton. Sawyer," she said, exactly matching his intonation. "What do you think of Tree Hill so far?"

He shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. I'm having trouble getting used to how green everything is. I've lived in the desert all my life."

"Yeah, I heard. Las Vegas, right?"

He nodded. She sat down next to him and took a bite of his sandwich. "I suppose it doesn't help that your brother is being a total prick." Nathan was startled. That was certainly the last thing he expected her to say. "Oh, don't get me wrong. Lucas can be a great guy when he puts his mind to it. But he's really got it in for you. Only child you know. Not used to sharing. And the divorce doesn't help."

Nathan continued to not respond, gawping at this girl who seemed to be on Lucas' team, but his side. "You can speak now, you know," she teased him.

"It's just.... why are you being nice to me? I mean, I saw you get up from his table. Usually when he's around I'm, like, invisible."

"Yeah, I know. He put the word out to do that. Like I said, total prick. But I am going to change that, because it's wrong and stupid. People see me talking to you, that should help break him. He can't tell me what to do."

"Why you?"

The blonde girl smiled and Nathan felt his heart leap a little. "I'm his girlfriend." And right back down it went.

"Oh," he said, feeling sick.

"Oh cheer up. I've seen you play. You'll be on varsity in no time, and then you can give him the what for. In the meantime, I've got your back." She stood. "See you later."

"Sure," he replied, dazed. "No, wait!" She turned back. "You didn't answer my question. Why are you being nice to me?"

A shadow passed over her face, and for a minute he saw that there was a lot more going on there than a perky cheerleader. "I... my mom died too. A long time ago. I guess... I guess I'm just doing for you what I would want someone to do for me. But don't tell anyone, okay? Let'em think I'm trying to make Lucas jealous."

Nathan returned her smile and said "Deal. And... thanks." She nodded and went back to the A- List table, from whence Nathan could feel Lucas' eyes burning into him like laser beams.

The nice surprise other than Peyton and Haley had been Keith. Dan hadn't mentioned he had a brother, but there he was, Keith Scott, waiting for them when they got off the plane. "Hey there, new nephew," he had said, not as big as Dan and a lot scruffier. "Welcome to the family. You like working on engines?"

"Um, I've never really done it, sir," Nathan had replied, a little taken aback.

Keith waved Nathan's response away. "Cut the sir crap. It's Uncle Keith. And I'll get you all set up. If I left it all up to little brother here, you'd never learn your way around the underside of a car hood." Nathan could believe that. He had the feeling that despite Dan's chosen profession, he really didn't like getting his hands gunked up with engine grease if he didn't have to. And Keith had followed through on his promise, taking him to the garage he owned whenever Dan had to work late and showing him around, explaining all the different equipment and teaching him the basics. Nathan wasn't sure he was going to like auto mechanic work, but he did know he liked Uncle Keith. Dan said his older brother didn't have enough ambition, and was a poor role model, but Nathan liked his easy smile and laugh. Unlike Dan, he seemed happy.

This week was also the last week of living in a stranger's room. Dan had finally found a three bedroom house to rent, and they had been packing for a few days to get everything moved, so he could finally get his own stuff out of storage and really move in. Overall, things could be worse. Karen was a nice lady, Haley was helping him with his school work, and Peyton was going out of her way to be nice to him at school. Keith was a nice bonus. The social worker, all business, had visited a few times and pronounced the new house okay. He didn't get Dan and his obsession with basketball, but hopefully that would be fixed by time. It was just Lucas. They were trying to get all this stuff packed up so they could move quickly. Even Karen had come over a few nights to help, but Lucas still hadn't come to pack up his room. Nathan was pretty sure he was going to wait until the bitter end, after Nathan was completely out of it. He grimly reminded himself of his promise to Mrs. Plumber. He would make the effort, even with Lucas.


	10. Adventures in Family Dynamics

Adventures in Family Dynamics

The next few weeks went slowly. With Haley's help, he was finally caught up, but it turned out that Lucas, who he had pegged as a big dumb jock, actually got very good grades when he wasn't blowing off schoolwork entirely, so it quickly became apparent that Nathan wasn't going to get to be the smart brother without a lot of very hard work. Peyton continued to be nice to him, and a few others from outside the inner varsity team core started to thaw a little, to the point where he could join a group at lunch and not feel weird about it. Lucas was still being horrible, and he still didn't get Dan, but at least he finally had his stuff unpacked. Dan had insisted on blowing up the picture of him with the basketball and putting it in the living room. But Nathan was a little nervous. This was the first week he was actually going to be living with Lucas. Karen and Dan had finally agreed that they were settled in enough at the new place to restart the regular custody arrangement, and Lucas was back to moving from house to house every other week. A tiny part of Nathan felt bad for Lucas, to be stuck in the middle like that, but the rest of him was just apprehensive. He'd never managed to have one successful conversation with Lucas that went longer than "Pass the salt" or a hissed admonition not to touch something and now they were going to be sharing a bathroom. Dan was all excited, but Nathan was sure that had more to do with the opportunity to train both boys together than anything else. But now it was Sunday night. Karen had cooked a real meal and he and Dan were going there to eat. Lucas would come back with them after dinner. It was going to be the first time he saw Karen's house, formerly Dan's house.

It was huge. It was enormous. His entire house in Vegas would have fit in the living room, with space to spare. It was unreal that anyone could live there. Dan saw the look on his face. "Yeah, I know. I make good money, and we plowed every cent we had and then some into this place. And now it's hers, and I only get to use it for the annual basketball appreciation dinner."

"What's that?"

"Boosters Club party. Parents, players, cheerleaders, coaching staff. Big shindig and one of the highlights of the Tree Hill social calendar. I had it written into the divorce decree," he added, smirking. "Anyway, until I can rebuild my savings, it'll be a while before we can get another place like this." He got out of the car. "Take some advice from your pop, Nathan. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Someone with a sharp lawyer might come along and steal it from you."

He lead the way onto the porch and opened the door while Nathan goggled. The house they were living in now was already twice what he and Mom had had in Vegas. He simply couldn't imagine living anywhere like this mansion.

Dinner was weird. They'd eaten together before, in restaurants in Las Vegas waiting for the hearing, but this was the first time they were all together in a house, like a normal family. Dan seemed to be intent on scoring against Karen, and Karen was torn between trying to score back and make Nathan feel welcome. Waves of anger poured off Lucas, but Nathan couldn't tell who they were directed at. Probably all three. Finally the meal was done, the table cleared. Lucas was sent upstairs to gather his stuff, while Dan disappeared into the den to catch the sports highlights on ESPN, leaving Nathan alone with Karen and the dirty dishes.

"Thank you for the meal, Karen. It was nice to eat a real family meal."

Karen smiled. "I don't know how great that was as an example. We were still pretty raw from the divorce when... well, it's just reopened some old wounds. It's not your fault. You're just stuck in the middle right now. But it'll get better. Lucas will come around."

Nathan shrugged. "Lucas hates me."

"Well, that doesn't make you special. He hates everyone right now. The only person he even talks to anymore is Haley."

"Haley?" Nathan said. "I didn't know he was friendly with Haley. I never seem them talking at school."

"Yeah, apparently they have some bizarre deal worked out for school, but they're actually very good friends. I used to hope they'd hook up, especially when all the shi- uh, stuff, started to fly, but then Peyton came along and she was this blonde cheerleader. Not that there's anything wrong with that; I mean I was a cheerleader, but she's more the kind of girl I guess Lucas felt like he should be dating. So he and Haley stayed friends. Peyton's a nice girl though. Sad, sometimes."

"She misses her mom."

Karen looked up from the last of the dishes. "She told you about that? She barely ever mentions her mother."

"Yeah. She's nice. She goes out of her way to talk to me. She told me about her Mom."

"What, so the poor little mother-less orphans bonded over their tragedy?" Lucas' voice came from the doorway and Nathan jumped. "That's so cute. You should start a club."

Karen slammed the sponge into the soapy water. "Lucas, I am sick of this. You apologize to your brother right now."

Nathan started to say it wasn't necessary, but Lucas smiled that cold smile. "Sorry, little brother. I'll try to be more considerate of your fragile state."

Karen frowned, but chose not to pursue Lucas' less than sincere tone. "Dan! Lucas and Nathan are ready to go!" There was no response from the den, and Karen huffed. "That man, I swear, if a marching band went through the room during SportsCenter... Nathan, can you go wake him up? Lucas, go put your bag in the car. And I'm going to check with your teachers on your homework, young man. No more letting it slide because your father is too distracted to check it."

Lucas smirked and left. Nathan started toward the den. "Nathan," Karen said, stopping him. "I know I'm not your mother, and I know the situation is awkward, but I'd like it if you could tell me things."

"Things about Lucas, you mean?"

"Just... I need to know if he does anything to you. It's as much for him as you."

"But then I'd be a rat. He already hates me."

"Don't worry. I can handle Lucas. It's just... that letter your mother wrote me. She wanted to make sure I gave you a brother. Family. I made her soul a promise. I can't do that if I don't know what he's up to."

Nathan considered, and then nodded. "Okay. But only if it's above and beyond the normal hazing. That I can handle."

"Deal. Go roust your father, before he grows roots out of his ass." But Nathan didn't leave immediately. "What?"

"I jut wanted to say you and my mom... You're a lot alike. I think she would have really liked you. You might have even been friends."

Karen smiled, and for a moment, she even looked like his mom. His throat closed. "Thank you, Nathan. That really means a lot." Nathan nodded at her, still not trusting his voice, and left the room.


	11. A promotion to present tense

A Promotion to Present Tense

The week with Lucas started out as awkwardly as he'd expected, but it quickly was superceded by what became known as the "bus episode". That Wednesday, the entire first string and second strings of the varsity team decided to take a school bus for a joy ride after a win and almost crashed into a train. The police pulled them over, but rather than try to figure out who had actually been driving, they simply arrested any student with a driver's license. And suddenly, there were a lot of openings on the varsity squad.

"Carver! Jagielski! Front and center!" Whitey was making a rare appearance at JV practice, usually handled by Mr. Stempek, the bio teacher.

"Yeah, coach?" Jake Jagielski was a good guy. He'd been one of the first people to be nice to Nathan, and didn't give a flying fig what the rest of the school thought, yet he seemed to actually be pretty popular. Nathan had known guys like him in Vegas. Heck, he'd been guys like him in Vegas. Before a wired bankrobber had suffered a severe disappointment and his whole world had gone to hell. But, that was then. As Dan had said, past tense.

"It seems Dan is going to get his wish, Nathan. How do you two feel about moving up to varsity?"

"Uh, Whitey..." Nathan started to say.

"I know there's some trouble with you and Lucas, but I need you on the team. I'm down 6 players. And as much as I hate to say Dan's right, b-ball does seem to be genetic in your family. Just give it a shot. I'll make it work with Lucas."

Nathan considered, and then shrugged. Mrs. Plumber. Making an effort. And being on varsity was important to Dan. "I'll give it a shot, Coach."

"Good. What about you, Jaglieski?"

Jake looked scared for a moment, and then pulled Whitey to the side. They had a quick, whispered conversation, at the end of which Whitey put his hand on Jake's shoulder, and then left the gym. Nathan went over the Jake. "What was that about? Are you going to do it?"

"Um, yeah, I think so. I just have to talk to my parents. I have a lot of obligations to my family-I can't let playing varsity get in the way of them."

"Yeah, well, I think I may have just fulfilled my biggest obligation, to Dan anyway. Practically the first thing he ever said to me was 'we'll get you in shape and onto varsity.' I thought he was insane."

"Well, he is, a little. But he's like a god to these people. The great Dan Scott, all time scoring champ of the Tree Hill Ravens, who would have gotten us a state championship if he hadn't been benched. Lucas has been dealing with that since the day he started junior leagues. Now I guess it's your turn. You watch, by tomorrow the entire town will know that Dan Scott's younger son made varsity."

Nathan wasn't so much worried about the entire town as one person in particular. And sure enough, that night at dinner, Lucas was the one to bring it up. "So, Dad, your fondest dream has come true. Little bro there made varsity today. The Scott boys are on the team together. Well, one Scott boy and one not-so-Scott boy," he snarked.

Dan missed that last part. "You... congratulations! Why didn't you tell me? We'll have to up your practice sessions."

Nathan winced. He was still feeling pain in muscles he'd never known he had from the training Dan insisted on now. "I'm going to be, like, last string, Dan. I'll probably play less than I do now."

"Not for long. I'll talk to Whitey and get you moved up. You're a Scott. I knew you had it in you."

Nathan refrained from pointing out that Keith was a Scott, and by his own admission a pretty lousy ball player.

"Wow. This calls for a celebration. Who wants a beer?" Nathan started at Dan's question. His mom would have no sooner offered him a beer than she would have offered him a hooker. And here was Dan offering two 15 year old boys beer like it was completely okay. He was at the point of refusing when Lucas said "I'll have one" and smirked at him, daring.

"Yeah, me too."


	12. Could you please pass that my way?

Could You Please Pass That Over My Way?

From the beginning, he had been getting regular calls from Mrs. Plumber, who also managed to thoroughly irritate Dan by dropping by occasionally, sometimes unannounced. The next day, before Nathan was due at his first practice with the varsity squad, he found himself in the bathroom, nauseous and terrified. He had almost gotten himself psyched up to bail when he remembered that phone lines went both ways. Dan had insisted on giving him a cellphone "for emergencies", and Nathan decided this qualified. Making his way out of the courtyard, he pulled the phone out and dialed the number she had given him.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Plumber?"

"Nathan! I was just thinking about you. How's your first week under the same roof as Lucas going?"

"About how you'd expect."

"Still being a bit of a goon then?"

"Yeah. I'm trying to do like you told me and meet him halfway, but I don't think he's interested."

"Well, he's been an only child his whole life and is coming off a nasty divorce. You're not seeing him at his best."

"I know," Nathan said, running his fingers through his hair. "But something happened that I'm afraid might make it worse. I made the varsity squad."

"Dan must be thrilled." Mrs. Plumber's dry sarcasm was obvious even at a distance.

"Yeah, but Lucas is furious. I was starting shooting guard on JV, and that's his position on varsity."

"You're afraid he's afraid you're going after his position."

Nathan sighed. "Exactly."

He could hear Mrs. Plumber thinking. Finally she said "Have you tried talking to Dan about this?"

"No," he said, muttering "stupidstupidstupid" in his head. Of course this was the kind of thing he should be talking to Dan about.

"Well, try it. Basketball is the one thing you can always get him talking about. And he has a lot more experience with Lucas than you do, so maybe he'll have some ideas on how to connect with him. I'll try to talk to him a little the next time I'm over that way. Think that'll work?"

Nathan sighed. "Well, it's worth a shot."

"Exactly. Just remember when Yoda said 'there is no try, only do', he was full of crap. You can't do anything until you try it."

Nathan laughed, said his goodbyes, and hung up. Time to go face the music.

In the locker room, the only one who acknowledged his presence was Jake. Lucas simply turned away and his posse, after a quiet snicker, followed suit. Nathan, remembering some of the hazing stories he'd been hearing, was very careful to make sure the locker was securely closed before going out into the gym.

"Carver! Get over here," Whitey bellowed. "Next time, take a little less time with your makeup. I've got a practice to run." Lucas chuckled. "Something to add, Scott?"

Lucas quickly put on a straight face. "No, Coach."

"Good, because you're nothing to boast about right now. Carver, I'm moving you from two guard to point. Jagielski, you'll stay at power forward. Got it?" There was general assent and Nathan gave a tiny sigh of relief. Now at least he didn't have to worry about threatening Lucas' position.

Practice could have gone better. Jake was okay, and a few of the other varsity players were apparently not as invested in the get-Nathan agenda, but Lucas and a guy named Tim were determined to make sure Nathan never got the ball, which made it hard to play point guard since his principal job was to pass the ball on to whoever had the best shot, and he couldn't pass a ball he couldn't get his hands on. After about 20 minutes of this, Whitey blew his whistle. "Scott! Having a little trouble with the concept of teamwork?"

"No coach. Just playing two guard, like I should be," Lucas said, his innocent face totally belied by his tone.

"Well, stop playing it so well. You may not share anywhere else, but you are going to share on this court, understand me?"

"Yes sir, Coach sir!"

In the next 20 minutes, Lucas passed the ball to Nathan exactly once.


	13. Conversations in the Night

Conversations in the Night

That night at dinner, Dan was all over himself to apologize. Apparently he'd been planning to come to practice. "We just got so busy at the Subaru store. Made the quota and then some, but I really wanted to be there for your first varsity practice."

Lucas snorted. "Dad, you know Whitey banned you from practice."

"That old man can't tell me what to do. Never could. If I want to watch my boy practice I will," Dan scoffed. "So, Nathan, tell me all about it."

"It was okay, I guess. He put me on point guard."

Dan jerked back. "He did not!"

Nathan looked up, puzzled. Dan seemed really angry. "What's wrong with point guard? It's a really hard position to play. You have to keep track of everyone."

"Yeah, so you can pass them the ball and they can make the points. You need at least 25 points a game to get noticed by the scouts, and you have to be a shooting guard to get the points. No way my son is giving up his points to another player."

"We already have a shooting guard, Dad," Lucas interjected. "Remember me? Also your son?"

"Well, if your game doesn't pick up soon, you'll lose your spot. Last game you only had 17 points, don't think I don't remember. If Nathan can play better two guard than you, then he deserves the spot more," Dan shot back. Nathan tried to curl himself further into his seat.

"Really Dan, I'm fine with point guard."

"Well, I'm not. I'm going down there tomorrow to talk to Whitey. Old fart's just gonna have to give you a better position. And another thing, what's with this Dan shit? It's been nearly two months. It is well past time you started calling me Dad."

Nathan nodded, miserable. He just knew no good could come of this. And he was right. That night, while he was reading before bed, Lucas came into his room. Nathan felt him rather than heard him and turned. He was standing right next to the door, the light from the lamp on the side table catching his blond hair and making it glow like a halo, but the look on his face was one of pure rage. Nathan almost recoiled before it, but was able to stop and collect himself in time. "Something you need?"

"You. Gone. You come in here and take my room, my father, my mother, my girl, my life. And now you want my position on the team? Well guess what. You can't have it. I'm going to make sure you run back to wherever it is you came from with nothing. It's all mine, and You. Get. Nothing." He hissed the last bit and Nathan felt the beginnings of real fear. He remembered Mrs. Plumber and tried to reach out.

"Lucas, I'm not trying to take anything from you. I don't want Peyton. I don't want to play two guard. I'm just trying to get by. It's not like I have anywhere else to go."

"Oh that's right. Poor little Nathan has no other family. Noone else to take him in. And why is that? Because his grandparents want nothing to do with him. Because he's a freakin' bastard."

This time Nathan did recoil. While he'd always known that his parents were never married, and he was therefore illegitimate, that just wasn't a big deal in Las Vegas, Sin City, where it seemed like every third kid in his classes had been in the same spot, and he was better than most even knowing his father's name. He had forgotten he was in the Bible Belt now, where things like this mattered. And Lucas, with his venom dripping from every syllable, was making it matter to him for the first time in his life.

"What's the matter? Truth hurt, little brother?"

"No... it's not that. I've just never really associated myself with that word."

"Well, get used to it. Because I am going to make sure that people forget your name before they forget that you are nothing more than bastard spawn. You'll be screaming for a group home by the time I'm done with you." Lucas slunk out, leaving Nathan alone and very, very scared.


	14. Actually I am expecting the Spanish Inqu

Actually, I'm Expecting the Spanish Inquisition

Things went on much the same way for the next few weeks. Lucas, after the blowup in the bedroom, had gone suspiciously quiet, but Nathan knew he was planning something, and as much as he liked having Dan's training obsession split when Lucas was there, he'd come to dread what he thought of as the "Lucas weeks". He had talked about it with Elizabeth Holly, his therapist, where Dan, good to his word, had continued to send him every week. She had recommended bringing both Dan and Lucas in for a family session, but Dan was dragging his feet. Nathan could have told her he wouldn't go for it. Karen seemed to think it was a good idea, but when she'd spoken up, it had turned into another screaming match, the original question lost in the piles of invective and bitter history. The therapist's second suggestion, much as Mrs. Plumber's had been, had been to talk to Dan about it directly. It was this option Nathan was turning over at the moment. Given what had already transpired, he wasn't so sure Dan was the right person. He was afraid it would turn into another opportunity to belittle Lucas while praising Nathan, which was only going to make things worse. Dan had, as promised, gone to Whitey the next day to try and get Nathan moved to a different position, but Whitey, who Nathan was beginning to think knew absolutely everything that went on in the greater Tree Hill area, refused. Nathan had been secretly grateful, but Dan was furious. "For some reason Whitey is sticking with you, Luke, so you'd better start deserving it," he'd practically screamed at Lucas.

Almost luckily, his first varsity game had been a disaster. On those few occasions where he did work up the confidence to attempt the basket himself, he'd missed almost all of them, scoring a miserable 8 points. That had taken some of the wind out of Dan's sails, and sent Lucas over the moon with glee, but the relief from the pressure had been momentary, since Dan had decided the problem was not enough practice and the drills had tripled. Nathan was starting to regret he had gotten Dan's height, instead of his mom's. At least then he could have played some other sport, but no, he had to be tall. Tall meant basketball. Tall meant Dan waking him up at 6 am on Saturdays to do windsprints. Tall meant shooting endless baskets for hours at a time until he'd hear the "schwoop, schwoop, schwoop" of the basket in his dreams. Tall meant "quality time" with Lucas, playing vicious half-court one-on-one while Dan watched and coached and bullied without ever noticing Lucas' anger.

But then again, tall also meant more time with Peyton, since the cheerleaders worked out with the team. Peyton had continued her quest to make Nathan socially acceptable over Lucas' objections. She had also introduced him to Brooke, sort of. She had introduced him in the sense of "Nathan Carver, Brooke Davis" but Brooke had more than taken it from there. Sometimes he found her raw sexuality and constant innuendo intimidating. Brooke reminded him of Tammi, who had worked at the bank with his mom and whose previous job had been at the Mustang Ranch before it closed. She was taking the opportunity to go legit, as she put it, but at times she'd turn it on without even noticing she couldn't help herself. Brooke was a lot like that, but he couldn't deny that the flirting was kind of fun.

Mom had had to talk to Tammi a little sharply a few times, but she could never bring herself to fire the girl. "She's starting over, Nathan," she'd said. "I know what that's like." Like he was starting over. Old life dead. Past tense. This was the present. So he had allowed his mother's birthday to go by unknown and unobserved by anyone but him. He'd reread her last letter, and said a little prayer. If Dan had noticed the bouquet of white roses in his room, next to the urn containing what was left of Debra Carver, he hadn't mentioned it.

"Carver!" came the shout, startling him out of his thoughts. Ugh, he thought to himself. Tim.

"What is it, Tim?"

"I wanted to let you know there's a team party at my house this Friday after the game."

Nathan goggled. "And you're inviting me."

Tim smiled and shrugged. " You're on the team, aren't you?." As he walked away, Nathan stared. Was this going to be it? Whatever Lucas had planned? But if he didn't go, he'd never live it down. It was while he was debating what to do in his head that he saw Haley ahead of him, talking to someone he didn't recognize. Haley who was secret friends with Lucas. She would know what was going on.

"Haley!"

She saw him and gave him that huge grin that lit up her whole face and all the air around her.

"Nathan! What's been going on? I haven't seen you in the caf‚ lately."

"Yeah, varsity practice goes later than JV so I've just been going straight home. I'll come by and visit after the lunch rush on Saturday, how's that."

"You better, dork," she joked, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Listen," he said, pulling her off to the side. "I need to ask you a question. Do you know what Lucas has planned for this party at Tim's on Friday? Because Tim just invited me, and I'm not real sure I should go."

Haley frowned. "Listen, Lucas is my friend. I really don't want to be put in the middle like this."

"I know," Nathan persisted, "but it's gotta be a setup. I don't want to back down, but I'm not sure I can put up with much more of whatever he's got in store. I was just hoping you might know something."

She sighed. "No. If he's up to something, I haven't heard about it. But he was furious when he found out I was tutoring you, and hasn't really been speaking to me lately. I'll tell you what, though," she added. "Go, and I'll go with you. Safety in numbers. How's that?"

Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. "That would be awesome Hales. You're the best."

She punched him again. "Just don't go spreading it around. I've got enough on my plate without the groupies." He punched her back and they went their separate ways.


	15. The present situation calls for a change

The Present Situation Calls for a Change in Strategy

Nathan walked into Tim's party actually feeling pretty good. He'd managed to sink a game winner at the buzzer. What made it even sweeter was that it had been Tim who passed him the ball, despite Lucas' frantic gesturing. But Lucas had been double-teamed, while Nathan was wide open. So Tim, much to Lucas' disgust, sent the ball to Nathan, who just made the basket. Dan had been effusive in his praise, and Karen and Keith had been congratulatory as well. Whitey even said "Good job, son," which was about as glowing as Whitey got. Lucas, on the other hand, had been overheard in the locker room reaming Tim a new one. The feeling continued into the first half hour or so of the party. Haley had been waiting by the door and he was having fun talking to her. He could feel Lucas watching him, and knew whatever was coming was coming, but decided to enjoy himself while he could. So when Brooke suggested a game of I Never, he decided to go for it. His mom had never let him go to the kind of party where I Never got played, but it sounded kind of fun. It quickly became apparent that Brooke was either not all talk, or deeply invested in maintaining her rep, and the rounds went round with a lot of laughing. Until it got to Lucas.

"I never...." he said, sliding his eyes over to Nathan, "kept my mother in a tin can on the bookcase."

Tim, who was still trying to make up for his earlier passing faux pas, gave a guffaw, and there were a few other nervous titters, but most people seemed shocked. Peyton had gone white as a sheet, and Nathan wondered fleetingly where her mother was. Haley looked furious. He stood and took a swig from his beer. "I guess that makes you the lucky one then, doesn't it," he said, stalking away and out onto the porch. He could feel Lucas' vicious pleasure at his departure behind him.

Peyton punched Lucas in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"That was a really shitty thing to say, Lucas. Have a little compassion." Lucas just smirked, and Peyton snorted in disgust. "Never mind, you jerk," she said. "I'm obviously expecting too much from you." She followed Nathan out on the porch, turning her back to Lucas' protests that it was only a joke.

She found him in a porch swing, huddled against the winter night. "I'm sorry for Lucas. He's just-"

Nathan raised his hand and stopped her. "I am so sick of hearing how Lucas has always been an only child and doesn't share well and is still angry about the divorce. I was an only child too, but all that is past. He's not an only child anymore. I am here. Present tense. I need this to work, and he's doing everything he can to stop it. I mean, it's not like I set out to ruin his life. I didn't want my mom to get shot just so I could appropriate his father. But he is definitely out to ruin mine, and I don't know how much more of this I can take."

Peyton nodded. "Well, I'm not sure how much more of it I want to watch. It's going to take something big to get him off your back. Maybe if you-" but whatever she was about to suggest was interrupted by a sudden collective gasp from inside the house. "What the hell was that?" Both she and Nathan turned back to the house and stood in the open door.

It was the picture, the one Dan had insisted on putting in the living room. Lucas had blown it up to poster size and was standing on the sofa, holding it up so everyone could see it. But he'd changed it. Where the basketball was supposed to be, tucked under one arm, was his mother's severed head. Nathan recognized the shot - it was from a picture he kept in his room. Lucas must have snuck in and scanned it and then Photoshopped it all together. The worst though, was the caption. "Mother and Bastard", it said in big red letters. "Is that..." Peyton whispered, grabbing his arm.

He nodded grimly. "My mother."

Lucas saw them looking and crowed. "Look everyone, it's Nathan and his mommy. I had this made up special for him. Here you go Nathan, come get your present." He held it higher, daring Nathan with his eyes.

Peyton held on tighter. "Don't," she whispered.

He shook her off. "He doesn't get to win this, Peyton," he whispered back, and started walking toward Lucas. He was still standing on the sofa, and Nathan knew he was walking into a severe tactical disadvantage, with Lucas standing so far over him, but there was no alternative. Everyone else, even the ones too drunk to fully understand what was going on, cleared a path for him. He could feel their gaze, some sorry, some amused, some baffled, as he walked to where Lucas was standing, but he put all them out of his head, keeping his eyes only on Lucas. Lucas and that smirk, his scorn and disdain a toxic miasma hanging around him. He reached the sofa and caught the poster as Lucas dropped it. "Why thank you, big brother. You know, Karen was asking me for a picture of my mom. Maybe I'll give her this one." He knew as soon as he said it he shouldn't have, but he couldn't stop himself. Time to start scoring a few points of his own. And seeing the brief moment of fear , quickly replaced by ugly rage, told him a great deal about what kind of power Karen had over her son.

"You leave my mother out of this. She's got nothing to do with you, bastard."

It was amazing how quickly that word had stopped bothering him. You could take the kid out of Vegas... "Tell that to the Superior Courts of Las Vegas, Nevada and Union County, North Carolina. I think I'll be taking my picture home now. I don't want it to get too beat up here."

He rolled the poster up and started to leave. Halfway there he remembered one more thing. It was a Lucas week. He turned back. "What time should I tell Dad you'll be home?" He put a little emphasis on Dad. He still thought of his father as Dan, but he'd gotten better at obeying his request to not use his first name to his face, and had seen how nuts it made Lucas. It had the predicted effect. Lucas' face, if anything, got uglier.

"My relationship with my father is none of your business, bastard."

Yep, like water off a duck's back. "Well, okay, but don't forget he wants to hit the gym 8 am tomorrow. You'll need your beauty sleep."

Lucas' face twisted up even further, but he didn't have a response, and Nathan was able to make a grand exit.

Screw Mrs. Plumber. It was time to start playing offense.


	16. Take back your hoodie, take back your ge

Take Back Your Hoodie, Take Back Your Gel

Lucas was still simmering the next morning when he turned up at Peyton's. After Nathan's challenge, he'd felt obligated to show up at the gym, where he'd gotten into a silent lifting competition on the Smith machine. He should have known better. Nathan may have started out taller than Lucas, but he's been out-of-shape, flabby. Under Dan's constant coaching, however he'd quickly bulked up, and was by now noticeably broader in the shoulders. He'd managed to beat the little bastard, but only just barely, and he knew he was going to feel it tomorrow. He could barely lift his arms over his head. If Dan noticed the cold war brewing around him, he didn't mention it. He did, however, seem pleased with how much weight they'd both managed.

All he wanted was to stretch out on Peyton's bed in her big house with her completely absent father and engage in a little recreational sex. So he was more than a little cheesed off when he found her cold, unreceptive, and hostile.

"Peyton, what is your problem? It was a joke, get it?"

"It was cruel, Lucas, get it? His mom hasn't even been gone 3 months, and you're making fun of their relationship? I am the last person who you should be turning to for sympathy. I am totally on his side in this. If I'd been him I'd have beaten the snot out of your stuck-up, superior, ego- centric self and then given the poster to your mom anyway. Serve you right. It was mean and vicious, and I don't want to know you anymore. Take that bag of stuff there. It's yours. We are over." She pointed to a shopping bag, but he didn't move for it

"You're picking that bastard spawn over me?" he said, not quite believing what he was hearing. Peyton was his.

"Lucas, I don't know you anymore. I don't even remember why I wanted to date you in the first place. How anyone could be so brutal! If that's how you're going to treat your brother, I don't want to know how you're going to treat me."

"Don't call him that!" Lucas exploded. "He is not my brother! He's like... some puppy Dad found in Vegas. He followed Dad home and now he wants to keep him. Well he can't. He's my father and Nathan-friggin-Carver can't have him!"

Peyton stood, her face white and voice trembling with fury. She picked up the bag. "Nathan said something to me last night. He said he was sick and tired of everyone telling him how you were an only child and didn't know how to share. He said that was past, and this was present. I thought he was exaggerating. But apparently not. So go, Lucas. And take your stuff with you. Because I no longer want to receive any of the crumbs you are willing to give." She shoved the bag in his arms. "Now, get out of my house."

He took the bag and turned to leave. "Fine. I'll come back when you're not PMS-ing."

"Don't bother."

While Peyton and Lucas were having it out on one side of town, Nathan was back on the other, having a much gentler argument with the last person he had expected to fight with: Haley. She'd turned up about an hour after they'd gotten back from the gym. Dan had been called in at the last minute to deal with something at the Chrysler store and Nathan had only just gotten out of the shower. "Haley! What's going on? I told you I'd swing by the cafe this afternoon."

Haley was standing in the middle of his bedroom, looking at the picture Lucas had desecrated to make his little poster, currently rolled up and tucked way in the back of Nathan's closet until he figured out how to get his revenge. "This is your mom?"

"Yeah."

"She's pretty."

Nathan smiled. "Yeah, she is... was. She had this shy smile that always made me want to hug her. She was a lot like Karen in a lot of ways. What's going on?"

Haley abandoned her contemplation of the picture and inspected the rest of the room, eyes lingering on the funerary urn. "I'm sorry to have to do this, Nathan, but I have to stop tutoring you, and it would be better if we just didn't speak for a while."

Nathan's jaw dropped. "What? Why? Is this because of Lucas?"

She shrugged. "Sort of. It's really for you. What he did last night... I've known him my entire life and I've never seen him do anything that horrible. If I'm going to find out what's going on with him, I can't let him see me with you. It's that simple. I want to help you, I do, but I have to help him. And I think in the long run, the best thing I can do for you is to... I don't know, get my friend back. Because this isn't him. I'm not even sure I can find him. But I know that my helping you is only making it worse. This is as much for you as for him."

Nathan ran his fingers through his hair, wondering if his day could get any weirder. "Let me get this straight, the best way you can think of to help me is to not associate with me or tutor me."

"That's about it," she said, holding up her hands in a gesture of supplication. "I know it seems perverse, but I'll find you another tutor. And it's only until Lucas works out whatever in the hell is wrong with him."

"This is insane, you realize. You're your own person, you should be able to associate with who you like. Especially when Lucas will barely talk to you in school. Are you sure he's even your friend?"

Haley shook her head. "I know it's weird and co-dependent. My older sister thinks it's almost abusive. But we have fun when we're alone. We can laugh and talk. As Dan Scott's son, he's been under a lot of pressure most of his life to follow in Dan's footsteps. He knows I don't care if he does or not. It really is a good friendship, for both of us. I have to save it. Besides, it's temporary, just until he finds himself again."

Nathan wondered if he could do this. Haley had been one of the first people to be nice to him. He didn't want to lose her so quickly. "Can I still say hi to you at Karen's?"

She smiled. "I'd be offended if you didn't."

"And you promise it's just temporary?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," she said, making the appropriate hand gesture. "As soon as I can get him back on stable ground."

"Okay," he whispered. "But I'm going to miss you."

She took his hand. "Me too. I'll see you around, okay?"

He nodded and she left.

Well, this was a fine how-do-you-do, as Tammi, formerly of the Mustang Ranch, would have said. One of the few people he'd really felt close to in Tree Hill couldn't speak to him. Dan was out and who knew when he'd been back. He could bike over to Keith's garage, but Saturdays were really busy for him and Nathan, who was still learning to do an oil change, would just be in the way. Karen was working. He didn't know where Peyton or Brooke lived. Jake was probably busy, like always, with his mysterious "family obligations." He could always call Mrs. Plumber, but that was good for half an hour, max, and he didn't really want any more advice right now. He ambled through the empty house, wondering what to do with himself. He didn't even have much homework. Just as he was thinking there was always the insanely large TV in the living room, his eye fell on a book. Dan didn't have many books in the house, and most of those were about basketball, but this one had an interesting title and appeared to have been read multiple times. There were little stickies in it marking what he assumed were important passages. Maybe if he read something Dan liked, they could talk about it and find something to bond over besides basketball. So he took the book back to his room and settled down to read.


	17. Once again, Mr Scott, I have the gavel

Once Again, Mr. Scott, I Have the Gavel

Lucas continued his campaign of harassment the next few weeks, but since he was choosing to pursue the bastard angle, Nathan found himself oddly distanced from the whole thing. When his locker turned up decorated three days in a row, he just took down the signs and got his books for the next class. When Mr. Kelly, the English teacher, had them do this silly exercise where they had to describe someone in one word and Lucas had thrown out the inevitable response, he'd just shrugged and responded with "spoiled", which had surprised him by getting a laugh. The only problem was that Lucas had been reported for using bad language to the principal, who had called Karen. "Why didn't you tell me?" she'd yelled at Nathan the next time he was in her cafe. "I would have taken care of it!"

He'd shrugged. "I said if it was something I couldn't handle. Believe it or not, all this bastard stuff doesn't bother me. I had friends back in Vegas whose mothers were actual prostitutes, so being born out of wedlock just isn't that big a deal to me."

"It bothers me. You're not in Vegas anymore."

Ain't that the truth, he'd thought to himself. "It's really not that big a deal. Besides, it's not exactly like I can challenge him on it, can I... Dan and Mom were never married. Just leave it alone. I can handle it."

After getting in trouble with Karen, Lucas had had to lay off, which gave Nathan his opportunity to start playing offense. By now the entire school knew Peyton had dumped Lucas after Tim's party, so Nathan had been talking to her as much as possible, turning on the charm whenever Lucas was around. Peyton seemed to know what the score was and play along, and the best part was Lucas wasn't really in a position to respond, since he couldn't risk another confrontation with his mother. Whitey, of course, could see what was going on, and tried to talk to them about it, both together and separately, but Nathan just couldn't handle Whitey's "sage advice" anymore. He was starting to think Dan was right and it was long past time for Whitey to get out of coaching. He and Lucas cooperated exactly as much as they needed to win games, and not one iota more. Karen had told Dan about the incident in Kelly's classroom, but Dan's only response, to Nathan anyway, was to congratulate him on not losing his cool on a game day and "distracting his focus."

When he and Dan had first returned to North Carolina, there had been a brief court hearing to confirm the Nevada temporary ruling and Mrs. Plumber as guardian ad litem. At that hearing, the judge, a woman named Krueger, had set the first permanent custody hearing for three months later, which would give, as she put it, "time for everyone to adjust and Social Welfare to evaluate the situation. Now, time was up. It had been three months and everyone was due back in court. Mrs. Lawlor had done a few home visits and talked to him, Dan and Karen together and apart. Mrs. Plumber had been stepping up her unannounced visits and had even come to basketball practice and a few games. She and Whitey had hit it off instantly, and Nathan secretly suspected they might even have gone on a date or two. He'd nicknamed them The Crusty Cooter Couple in his head, although he'd never dare share that with either. He did value his life, after all.

The court building here was a lot nicer than the one in Nevada, he thought as they sat outside the room waiting their turn. That one had been kind of blocky, like most of Las Vegas, which saved its best architecture for the casinos. This one made him think of Gone with the Wind, with all the marble and brick. Wait, wasn't Tara wood? Had to be - the Union army had burned it. Whatever. It was him, Dan, Karen, the Mrs. Plumber and Lawlor, and Dan and Karen's lawyers. Lucas wasn't there. At the first hearing, the judge had made clear that since he wasn't a direct party to the issue being decided he wouldn't be allowed in the room, so he was back in school. No doubt plotting with Tim for whatever was next. Finally the bailiff called them in. After the formalities, the judge called on Mrs. Lawlor first, who reported that there was no question about Dan's ability to financially provide for his son. "Nathan appears well cared for, and has maintained decent grades on par with his academic performance in Nevada, your honor. This is commendable since he is now balancing schoolwork with a fairly grueling physical regimen he did not have previously." Dan grinned and patted Nathan on the shoulder. Nathan could feel the "atta boy, son" implied in the gesture.

Judge Krueger, who seemed far too young and pretty to be a judge, thanked Mrs. Lawlor for her report. "The way I see it, though, Mr. Scott's ability to support and provide for his son was never really the question, was it. Rather it's this instant family Mr. Carver has been delivered into and their baggage. I've read the materials from Nevada and there are definite areas of concern. Mrs. Plumber, would you care to comment?"

Ruth Plumber stood. "Your honor, I share your concern. Daniel Scott seems to be obsessed with basketball, and rushed Nathan onto the high school varsity team the minute he could. While Nathan seems to enjoy working out with his father and playing on the team, I'm concerned about what they will bond over when the season is over. I've never seen any indication of any other activity or interest that they share."

The judge grinned. "Welcome to the one track mind of the North Carolina male, Mrs. Plumber. Mr. Scott is by no means alone in his obsession. Ms. Roe, what say you? Is your ex-husband's obsession with basketball a problem for his relationship with Nathan?"

Karen stood, opened her mouth and then closed it. Finally she seemed to get her thoughts in order. "Your honor, it's difficult me to answer that question. It was the basketball that, more than anything, broke up our marriage. He pushed our son so hard, and yes, I believe it has created tension in his relationship with Lucas. But I can't answer for Nathan. I'm trying very hard to let Dan build this relationship with his son with as little interference as possible. I just don't feel, despite my legal standing, that it's my place to participate significantly in Nathan's care. I will say he has not, as yet, objected in any way to playing. If he had, I would certainly take his side."

"Thank you for your honesty, Ms. Roe. Now yes, Ms. Roe?" For Karen hadn't sat back down yet.

"Your honor, I think there may be a bigger problem than Dan and basketball for Nathan. He and Lucas have not as yet managed to form anything like a filial bond. In fact, I'd say the exact opposite is happening, and as much as it pains me to say this about my own son, the primary fault appears to be with Lucas. The school has reported at least one incident of harassment. He only barely survived our divorce, and for some reason he's taking out all his anger on Nathan. I'm just at a loss as to how to address this." Karen retook her seat.

The judge had raised an eyebrow, and considered Karen's statement. "Mrs. Plumber, care to comment?"

"Nathan has spoken of tension between he and Lucas almost from the beginning. The only specific incident I am aware of is conflict over who would get to be something called a shooting guard when Nathan moved from the JV to varsity squad, but that appears to have been resolved."

The judge nodded and turned to Dan. "Have you noticed this as well, Mr. Scott?"

Dan stood. "Your honor, I'm aware of the incident at school and the conflict over who would get to play shooting guard, but nothing I've seen strikes me anything more than normal healthy sibling rivalry. I went through it with my brother too. It's just boys being boys."

The judge nodded and turned to Nathan. "Well, what about it, Mr. Carver? Is Lucas harassing you beyond what would be normal for brothers?"

"I wouldn't know about that, your honor, having never had a brother before, but it hasn't been anything I haven't been able to handle, your honor." He could feel Dan stewing next to him, and knew he had to be careful. Dan had a real thing about airing family business, even in a closed courtroom.

"Would you care to be more specific, young man? I'd like to know more about what's going on here."

Nathan tried to think of an answer that wouldn't make things worse. He certainly couldn't tell her about the poster, or the locker decorations. Finally he settled on basketball. "He was mad when I made the varsity squad, your honor, and for a long time would never pass the ball to me."

"That's all? Poor sportsmanship?"

"No, your honor. When I first started school, he put out word that noone should talk to me."

The eyebrow went back up. "And people payed attention to that edict?"

Nathan shrugged. "Lucas Scott is a starting varsity basketball player. High school elite. If they say something, it goes."

"What about this incident the school reported? What happened?"

"We were doing an exercise where we had to describe someone in only one word, and the word he used to describe me was bastard. He likes to call me that whenever possible."

The judge's eyes had gone wide. "And how does that make you feel?"

He shrugged again. "What can I say? I mean, he's not wrong. Wrong side of the sheets, by- blow, illegitimate, out of wedlock, love child, bastard...they're all accurate." He paused, and then felt a minor explosion inside. "It's just, I was reading this book, see, and it said something that perfectly described Lucas. 'If I wish to do battle, the enemy cannot help but do battle with me.' Lucas says I'm trying to steal his life, and he really wants to do battle. I haven't figured out how to convince him that's not what I'm after. I mean, my mom was murdered by a bank robber. I've got enough going on trying to live my own life, you know?" The fire gone out, he sat back down.

The judge, in the meantime, had gotten a more and more serious expression on her face until the lawyers exchanged a nervous glance. Obviously something had been triggered, and they were moving into dangerous ground. "Mr. Carver, I recognize the passage you quoted. May I ask why you were reading that particular book?"

Nathan stood back up. "I found it on Dan's, I mean, Dad's bookshelf. It looked like something he liked 'cause it had all these little marks and tabs in it, so I thought if I read it, we could talk about it."

The judge whose expression had not changed, nodded grimly. "An admirable goal, Mr. Carver. I applaud the sentiment. Mr. Scott." Dan started, and stood. "I trust you also recognize the passage." Dan nodded. "And who is the author, Mr. Scott?"

"Sun Tzu, your honor." Dan's lawyer, suddenly realizing what was happening, was heard to mutter 'uh-oh'.

"Sun Tzu, Mr. Scott," the judge continued. "Now, for the benefit of those of us here today who might not be familiar with Sun Tzu, would you please tell the court the name of this book?"

Dan had finally figured out where this was going and responded in a very low voice. "The Art of War, your honor."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Scott," the judge said, voice made of titanium. "Could you please repeat that?"

Dan looked up and repeated himself, more audibly. Karen looked sick, while her lawyer, who had also represented her in the divorce and still had it in for Dan, was trying not to look pleased with only partial success. Mrs. Plumber just looked horrified, while Mrs. Lawlor looked exactly the same. 15 years in social work meant nothing surprised her anymore.

"The Art of War!" roared the judge, banging her fist on the desk and making her clerk jump. "Your son just quoted from a 2,000 year old manual of warfare to describe his relationship with his own brother! Does that sound healthy to you, Mr. Scott? Does that sound normal?"

Dan, knowing there was no good answer to this question, just shook his head. His lawyer appeared to be trying to disappear into his chair.

"Well, there is no way I'm going to rule on permanent custody with the situation as it is. This family has deep problems that go far beyond the ability of this court to remedy. But we are sure as hell going to try. First, Mr. Scott, I understand you voluntarily send Nathan to a therapist regularly?" Dan nodded. "As of this minute, consider those visits court-ordered, and the same goes for the rest of you. The entire Scott-Carver family is going to put in some serious couch time. Mrs. Plumber, I would like you to attend as the therapist feels appropriate as well."

"Not a problem, your honor," came the steely response.

"Right, second. Ms. Roe, it's time for you to start interfering. I read the two letters from Ms. Carver, and you and I are going to make what she wanted happen. So, slight change in the physical custody arrangement. Nathan, every other weekend, you'll be staying with your stepmother. That'll give you the opportunity to bond and form a relationship. I'll leave it up to Ms. Roe how that works with Lucas' custody, but to start, at least, I recommend they do not overlap."

Dan's lawyer had jumped up and started to protest. "Your honor, Ms. Roe has no connection with this boy and should have no input into how he is raised."

"Save it, Mr. Edwards," the judge snapped. "It is your client's poor observation skills that let the situation get this out of control. This is his mess I'm trying to clean up. The only reason I don't transfer physical custody entirely is it would probably make the tension with Lucas even worse."

The lawyer grimly took his seat again and started whispering urgently to Dan. "I want everyone back here in three months, where we will hear testimony from the therapist, Mrs. Plumber, someone from Tree Hill High, and the four people at the middle of this trainwreck. Actually, make the school rep the basketball coach. Sounds like he'll know what's going on.. If at that time I see evidence of significant progress being made, then we can start to address final custody, but not a moment before. Everyone capiche?" There were murmurs of assent. "Last thing. Mr. Carver.

Nathan jumped up again. He was starting to feel like a jack in the box. "Yes ma'am?"

"Do you remember the passage that comes right after the one you quoted?"

Nathan tried to remember. "Something about drawing a line?"

"Very good. 'If I do not wish to battle, I mark a line in the earth, and the enemy cannot do battle with me.' Do you wish to do battle with your brother?" Nathan, despite his earlier resolve to do exactly that, knew better than to answer in the affirmative. "Good. You have to take the high road here. Find somewhere to mark your line so Lucas can't pick his fights."

Nathan nodded, but he knew that was an impossibility. With Lucas objecting to basically his very existence on the planet, how on earth did he draw a line that would defend himself and include his identity as Dan Scott's son?


	18. Bball and the Art of War

B-ball and the Art of War

Therapy, Nathan had decided, was becoming a full time job. There were weekly visits for everyone solo and then again in various combinations. The therapist had decreed that for the time being they would not all meet together, so it was never the four of them all at once, but about half the time Mrs. Plumber would also attend, including those sessions at which Nathan was not present. This, more than the forced therapy itself, was what seemed to get Dan going. Nathan had overheard him on the phone with his lawyer once, referring to her as that "judgmental nosy- parkering old biddy", but there was nothing he could do about it and he knew it. To try and calm Dan down, Nathan had distanced himself from her a little, cutting phone conversations short and finding reasons to be out of the house when she came over, but she'd figured out what he was up to almost immediately and brought him up short. "Don't even bother trying, young man," she'd said. "I've got moves you can't imagine." His first weekend with Karen's had come and gone but it had been awkward. He didn't know how to relate to her except as a mother, and to do so felt like betraying his real mom, so he hadn't known what to say or how to behave. He'd relaxed enough by Sunday afternoon to accept her invite to a few hands of blackjack. Vegas boy that he was, he'd thoroughly trounced her and won all the buttons they were using as chips, and they'd had a really good time. He found he was looking forward to the next "sleepover", as Karen called them.

The only black spot was, as expected, Lucas. After the hearing, Karen must have put the fear of God and Satan into him, because the intimidation stopped cold. As far as Lucas was concerned, Nathan had gone back to invisibility. The only communication they ever had was the bare ecessity needed to play on the same team. Whitey wasn't happy, he knew, but the team was still winning, so he didn't say anything. Nathan was torn on what to do next. As long as Lucas wasn't doing anything to him, there was no need to retaliate. On the other hand, he knew that under that hooded squint plans were being formed; plans that boded nothing good for him. If he took the initiative, he could catch Lucas off guard and force him to play by his rules. He just hadn't figured out what the best approach was. That book that had gotten Dan in all the trouble (and which he had taken away the minute they got back from court) had said to attack something the enemy must save, but for the life of him Nathan couldn't figure out what might qualify. The only thing he could think of was Lucas' relationship with Haley, which Karen had reported was back to its old self, but he didn't want to hurt Haley. It was as he was walking to practice that it hit him. Of course! Two guard! He'd steadily gotten his shooting average up in practice until he was in a dead heat with Lucas. All he had to do was beat Lucas from the three-point line and Whitey would give him the position. It was genius. The only little flaw was he'd discovered he actually really liked the challenge of playing point guard, but he'd just have to suffer a little. He chortled to himself as he strolled into the gym. This was going to be sweet.

And it was. It was a non-Lucas week, so he could safely ask Dan for help without alerting the enemy. They'd worked on his three point shot every day before school, and he'd managed to steadily improve to the point where Whitey finally noticed. After Nathan managed to sink one at the buzzer to win a tight away game, Whitey came up to him on the bus on the way home. "So, son, you interested in moving back to two guard for a while? Because that was some damn fine playing out there tonight."

Nathan had shrugged his shoulders, since part of the plan was not to appear too eager despite what he was feeling inside. "Yeah, I'll give it a shot. Nice to have a change of pace."

"Glad to hear it. Scott! I'm moving you to point guard."

Lucas, who had been as far from Nathan as possible and who therefore had missed Nathan and Whitey's conversation, jumped. "But Whitey, I'm the shooting guard."

Whitey harrumphed. "That's funny, because I'm the coach, and I say you're the point guard."

Nathan had only just managed to keep the triumph off his face.

It took another week for Lucas to take the bait though. Nathan internally gave props to Lucas' self-control. The unfortunate thing is what it took to snap it turned out to be Haley. Haley almost never came to games since she usually worked the caf‚ so Karen could go, but there was something going on there that night that required Karen's presence. Dan wasn't there either, which was truly bizarre, but he'd had some kind of dinner to go to he couldn't get out of. So Nathan was getting a rare night in the gym without Dan but with Haley. He'd been glad to see her there. He'd kept his promise and largely stayed away except for a few mild pleasantries at Karen's, and he'd been surprised by how much he was missing her. Maybe it was because he'd run in a different crowd before, or maybe there just weren't too many girls like her in Vegas period, but he'd never really known anyone like her, and he'd felt like they had just been getting to know each other when she'd brought it to a screaming stop. So when he'd seen her in the stands, he'd given her a big smile, not even thinking that Lucas would notice. It had been just for him and her, but Lucas did notice, and for some reason wigged out. He'd started hassling him 10 minutes into the game while they were lined up for a free throw, telling him to stay away from Haley if he knew what was good for him. Nathan had flipped back that they were just friends, and that despite what he seemed to believe Lucas didn't own all the girls in the school. He may also have waggled his eyebrows a bit suggestively, but that was it. It was enough though, and Lucas had charged across the box and tackled him to the ground. It had taken most of their team to break them up while the other team laughed and pointed, and then the ref had thrown them out of the game. In the back of his mind, Nathan knew they'd deserved it, but mostly all he could think was that this was his first game as shooting guard and Dan was going to be furious. But it turned out it was Whitey's wrath he should have feared more. He'd stopped the bus going home as soon they left town, and put both he and Lucas off the bus. "I don't know what y'all's problem is, but you've got 30 miles to figure it out," he'd said. It was after the bus pulled away that both he and Lucas had realized they'd left their phones and wallets on board.


	19. Two whales on a lonely road

Two Whales on a Lonely Road

"This sucks," Lucas said, kicking a pebble as they walked by the side of the road.

"So you've said," Nathan replied, still figuring out how on earth he was going to explain this to Dan. "If you have anything helpful to add, I'll be glad to hear it, but for now please shut up."

"It's going to take hours to get home this way."

Nathan groaned. "That. Wasn't. Helpful."

Lucas glared at him. "Well, excuse me for living."

Nathan glared back. "I thought that was supposed to be my line. Isn't that your beef with me, that I'm alive?"

Lucas stopped and gave the question far more consideration than Nathan had intended. He'd actually thrown it out rhetorically. "That's what it used to be. I was mad because you were this tangible living proof that Dad cheated on Mom. But not anymore. You're just taking everything away from me, one thing at a time. I can't let that happen."

Nathan stopped and clutched his hair. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not trying to take your life?! Seriously, stop and think. Dan didn't really have any choice but to let me stay in your room at first. And I'm not trying to steal your father, I'm trying to get to know mine. I've gone my whole life without a dad, and I want to learn what it means to have one. Now, I'm sorry if that's cutting into Dan's Lucas time, but that's not what I'm deliberately trying to do."

"What about Peyton? And Haley?" Lucas challenged. "Why did you go after them?"

"I didn't, nimrod. If you'll remember, Peyton came up to me in that courtyard, not the other way around. And Haley volunteered to tutor me to help me get caught up to a new school. I didn't even know she was a tutor until she offered, and I really didn't know you and her were friends until like a month later. Seriously, what is up with that? If she's really your friend, why won't you talk to her in school?" Lucas mumbled something. "Speak up! Dan does that too when he doesn't want to answer a question. It's very annoying."

Lucas took a deep breath. "I said, it's her idea."

Nathan started. "What? That's... why?"

"She says she doesn't want to associate with me in school because she doesn't want all the baggage that goes with being in my crowd. She says we're all obsessed with image and she doesn't want to be identified with that way of thinking."

Now that he said it, Nathan realized, it made perfect sense. He couldn't imagine anyone less obsessed with image than Haley. Of course she would dictate the terms of their friendship to Luke. "That sounds just like her. All this time I thought it was you being a jerk, when it was her being independent."

"Yeah, that's Haley. Noone tells her to do something she doesn't want to."

"I've noticed," Nathan agreed. "Are you? Obsessed with image, I mean."

Lucas brooded some more. "If I weren't Dan Scott's son, I don't think I would be. You gotta understand what it was like before the divorce. They were one of Tree Hill's elite couples. Even if Dad wasn't this big jock high school ball star, he'd still be one of the biggest businessmen in town. Yeah, he doesn't own it, but Susan's getting old and everyone knows he basically runs the joint. He had to project a certain image, so Mom and I did too. The reason she decided to start up that cafe was she got so good at cooking from all the business dinners Dad was always making her throw. She said if she was going to work as a cook she should at least get paid for it. So yeah, I guess I am, but even after almost 16 years, it feels artificial to me." He paused and the two walked on in silence for a bit. Suddenly, he said "I'm not, you know."

Nathan stared. "Not obsessed with image? But you just said..."

Lucas laughed, and for just a minute even in the moonlight, Nathan could see why Haley was sticking with him. "No, not that, although I can see why you're confused. I'm not the lucky one. You said that, at Tim's party when I made that lame joke about your Mom's ashes."

Nathan privately rejected the word joke, but let it slide. "You've grown up with all this money,   
and two parents, neither of whom is dead, by the way, while me and Mom struggled to scrape by alone. How is that not lucky?"

Lucas shrugged. "It was great, at first. They were in love once. Everyone used to tease them about being high school sweethearts and happily every after stories, but it was really true. I saw all my friends' parents getting divorced and used to think 'that'll never happen to me.' But Dad...   
he's just so competitive, and as soon as I was old enough to do a sport he'd put me on the team. And it always had to be the best spot too, like this whole two guard thing. I was a pitcher for Little League, did you know that?"

Nathan nodded. "He's got the picture in the living room."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. Anyway, I was nothing great at pitching, but there was no one much better, and what Dan Scott wants, Dan Scott gets. But there was this one kid on one of the other teams, amazing hitter. He moved away last year, but the whole time he was here noone ever struck him out. So we're in a tough game, couple of runners on base, and this kid comes up to bat. I do what I'm supposed to, I walk him. Well Dad, he was furious. He saw it as a cop-out. He grabbed my arm and kicked me. If he hadn't been holding me I'd have ricocheted off the wall. My childhood is full of moments like that, although that was hands down the most violent."

Nathan was in shock. If someone had done that to him in Little League, his mother would have ripped off their testicles with her bare hands. "What did Karen say?"

"She wasn't there. I told her I'd caught a bad pitch in practice. She still doesn't know the truth."

Nathan thought back on his own Little League experience. His team hadn't been very good, but  
they'd had fun. Except... "Every year for the Father-Son game, Mom would get the husband or boyfriend of one of her friends to stand in for me. And I'd wonder what it would be like to have him, my real father, playing instead of this stranger. I'd pray and pray that he'd just show up one day, this Dan guy my Mom had told me about who was so great at sports, and take the stranger's spot and everyone would say 'That's Nathan's dad'. The rest of the time was fun, but I always hated that one game." He stopped, uncertain of what to say next. Lucas said it for him.

"But you had fun. I hated every minute of it. Just remind yourself, the father you were praying for is Dan Scott, who kicked his boy so hard he limped for a week. As fathers go, you may have been better off without."

They continued on in silence, but finally Nathan couldn't let it go anymore. "Lucas, I'm sorry. I have a confession to make."

Lucas grinned at him. "You mean about deliberately going after my spot? Yeah, I figured that was your plan when you asked Dad for help on three-pointers. He was all excited about your 'serious commitment to the game'."

Nathan gawped. "And you didn't try and stop me?"

"Well duh, I never thought you'd make it," Lucas responded, giving him a playful punch. "Dad was disappointed with me of course. Said I should have defended it more aggressively."

"Seems to me that when Dan's disappointed is when he's the hardest to cope with," Nathan observed. "Think you'll be okay?"

Lucas tossed it off. "Before, I'd have said no, but he's got you to make his dreams live on, so   
I'm good."

Nathan stopped as if struck. "Oh. My. God."

Lucas stopped and stared. "What, did you get bit by a snake or something?"

"No!" Nathan exclaimed. "I've just realized something. This sick war we've had going on for months... It's Dan! I mean, it's other stuff too, like the cheating and Peyton and Haley and shooting guard and Sun Tzu, but you said it yourself. He's so aggressively competitive, and   
there is nothing in the world he cares about more than basketball. Think about it - all those comments about your game slipping and how you didn't deserve two guard anymore? Heck, that was absolutely one of the first things he ever said to me, the day he came to get me when Mom was killed. And he's been giving me all this attention, like a new toy, making you jealous. He was setting us up to compete with each other! Maybe he was just trying to build that competitive instinct, or maybe he didn't even notice what he was doing, but there's enough of him in us that when all that other stuff got in the mix we fell for it like a couple of big fat whales! I can't believe how stupid I was!" He was clenching and unclenching his fists.

Lucas' jaw dropped. "I can't believe I didn't see that. I've known the man my entire life, and it's exactly the kind of thing he'd do."

"You know how competitive he is with Keith..."

"...always putting him down with all those digs about his 'little shop'..."

"...bringing up fights they had in junior high..."

"...he just saw us as another pair of brothers that should be adversaries! Stupid stupid stupid!"

The two boys stood stock still by the side of the road, staring at each other as they realized where the source of their problem lay. Lucas was the first to deflate, sinking to the gravel. "So now we know. The question is what to do about it."

Nathan considered, and then threw up his hands. "I have no idea. I wish he hadn't taken that book away, there probably was something good in there. But we can't let him keep manipulating us like this. We have to come up with a plan."

"Agreed. We should pull a Haley and pretend nothing's changed," Lucas suggested. "That would at least give us time to come up with something better without letting him know something is up."

"I don't know," Nathan said. "I don't want to have to go on pretending we're at each other's throats. It's very... tiring."

"Good point. And I don't think I can think of anything else to do that would invoke the b-word. So, how's this... We tell everyone we have agreed to put our differences aside for the good of the team until the end of the season. He'll eat that up, and it'll get me out of the 17 kinds of trouble I'm going to be in when Mom hears about this."

Nathan groaned.... "Oh man, I'd forgotten about the fight entirely. Yep, repercussion city, and that's a good plan. It'll get Whitey off our backs too. We can decide what to do next if we ever get home."

"Deal," Lucas said, holding out his hand. Nathan, after a moment shook it. "Now, I have just three questions for you. What in the hell is Sun Tzu, what book are you talking about, and why are we whales?" Nathan started laughing and couldn't stop. "What?"

"Nothing... I'm just feeling a very long way from home. A whale is casino-talk for someone rich who is sure to leave a lot of money behind. It's sort of like when con artists talk about a mark. I'll just buy my own copy of Sun Tzu and explain the rest later."

"Why not now?"

"Because," said Nathan, pointing toward the car driving toward them slowly and flashing its high beams like a maniac. "I think our ride is here. Let's just hope Whitey called Karen and not Dan."

Luckily for them, he had.


	20. Why intrigue and home movies don't mix

Why Intrigue and Home Movies Don't Mix

Lucas had been wrong about one thing. Telling Dan they were doing it for the good of the team hadn't been the right reason. "Screw the team," he'd roared the next morning when they'd told him over breakfast. "You're better than all of them! But no scout is going to look twice at a player who gets kicked out of games for fighting, so you both had better shape up and think of your futures!" Then he'd sent them out for a run --"5 miles and not a yard less", not knowing that it was the perfect cover for them to discuss how to proceed. After much discussion, they had decided to include Haley, but no one else. "She's got a devious little mind when she wants to," said Lucas, and Nathan had no trouble believing it.

Her first mission was to go to a bookstore and find a copy of The Art of War, since Karen, though she had addressed them with less bluster, had been every bit as furious and had grounded them from every activity outside of home and school, so they couldn't get to the bookstore themselves. Presuming to include Nathan in the grounding had sent Dan further up his tree than he already was, if possible, but she'd just smiled and said "just following the judge's orders, Dan." Nathan knew Dan wouldn't make a big deal if he did go out, but he decided in solidarity with Lucas he would follow the rules. He could hardly make a pact to not let their father tear them apart and then at the first chance take advantage of the fact that he was living with said non- rule-enforcing father while his brother was back with the very rule-enforcing mother. Or stepmother, depending on your perspective.

The other thing they'd agreed was to confine their activities to times when they'd be together anyway, like Lucas weeks, since anything else would look suspicious. Today was Sunday, and the beginning of a Lucas week. Dan and Nathan were pulling up to the big house for the traditional dinner but for the first time, Nathan was actually looking forward to it even though Lucas had suggested that their interactions should be "polite, stiff, and distant. Like soap opera people". It was a good plan. Now he just had to pull it off.

Dan was still smarting from the fight, Whitey's putting them off the bus, and the grounding. "Really," he said to Karen, "we should think of suing. They could have been in serious danger."

Karen shook her head. "He called me the minute the bus pulled away. They were there not even 40 minutes."

"Yeah, that reminds me Nathan," Lucas interjected. "How did you know he called someone?"

Nathan hid his laugh and went for a small grin instead. "I saw him take your phone out of your bag as the bus was pulling out. I figured he had to be calling someone to come get us it would have taken all night to walk home. Not even 30 gazillion winning seasons gets you coverage against that kind of punishment."

"Still think we should sue..." Dan muttered. Karen gave him a sharp look.

"Dan, let it go. Besides, at least they're talking now, so it turned out to be a good thing."

The rest of the meal was taken up by discussion of inconsequentials. Dan was stewing silently and Karen took the opportunity to try and lead Nathan and Lucas around to topics of common interest, unaware they already had one. They had a good time, though and the animation was contagious. By the end of the meal even Dan had unwound enough to tell a joke that started "An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar...." For one short minute, Nathan imagined that this was what a family was like, a real family like he'd always wanted, but then Dan had turned to him and said "So, what do you think tomorrow morning: weights or a run?" and he'd lost it. This wasn't a real family, and it wouldn't be until they figured out a way to corral Dadzilla.

Lucas came into his room again that night. He flashed back briefly to the last time that had happened, thankful that he wasn't going to have the same kind of encounter this time. "So, what did you think of Sun Tzu?"

Lucas held up the book Haley had bought for them. "I think it's exactly the kind of book Dan Scott would have on his shelf. I'm surprised he hadn't made me read it already."

"I kind of wondered myself. But he probably thinks we're not ready for it."

"He's probably right. I didn't get parts of it," Lucas admitted. "But I did recognize a few things he's said in the past. Anyway, while I get while the judge freaked out on you, I still don't see how reading it helps us."

"It's right there," Nathan said. "You have to understand your enemy and prepare."

Lucas cocked an eyebrow. "Our father is our enemy?"

"Not really," Nathan conceded. "Just his current incarnation. We have to figure out a way to make him human again. Like you remember from when you were little. You get your dad back, I get a dad period, he gets two sons who don't want to run screaming from whatever room he's in. Everyone wins."

"I don't know... I'm still not sure we can overcome that ego of his," Lucas said.

"Yeah, that is the challenge. Any ideas?"

"None yet. Haley's coming up dry as well. Maybe instead of trying to act like soap opera people we should start watching more soaps. They always have good revenge plots."

Nathan threw himself back onto the bed. "About that, I'm sorry. I kind of failed with the polite, stiff, distant thing. It's just... With all the drama and Mom dying and people walking on eggshells, I haven't had a normal conversation in months. It was nice to just talk."

Lucas waved it off. "No big. Dad was too peeved to notice and Mom thought it was sweet."

"Speaking of your mother, we need to make sure that whatever we come up with doesn't hurt her."

"Hey, you get no argument from me. I'd have been perfectly happy if the divorce court had given her sole custody, but you know Dan Scott would never let that happen." Lucas had been walking around and picked up one of the pictures of Nathan's mother. There were a few, from different parts of their life. In the one Lucas had picked up she was holding an infant Nathan, smiling at the camera and looking almost ridiculously young. "Tell me about her."

Nathan looked surprised. "You want to hear about my mom? I thought she led Dan down some primrose path of vice and debauchery." What he'd meant as a joke came out far more bitter than he'd intended. There were obviously still some wounds between Dan's boys.

Lucas blushed. "Look, I'm sorry. You've been nothing but decent to my mom, and I've said some horrible things about yours. Done some horrible things too. You can help me start to make up for it by telling me about her, since I won't get to meet her."

Nathan considered Lucas' request and finally nodded. "Okay. She was... she was always kind. She never passed a homeless person without putting some money in the cup, even when we barely had enough to keep a roof over our heads. She would go out of her way to help people. The first time I met Brooke, she reminded me so much of one of Mom's foundlings, a girl named Tammi. Tammi had somehow managed to get bonded even though her prior employment had been as a prostitute. Don't give me that look... It's Nevada, it's legal. Anyway, Tammi came into the bank scared out of her wits and with absolutely no idea how to behave outside the whorehouse. Mom took her over, taught her how to dress and wear her hair and makeup. Taught her what was needed to get ahead without flaunting her chest. She's still there, three years later. Don't get me wrong, Mom could be very strict. I was never allowed over to anyone's house until she had met their parents and given the family her seal of approval. She was also so sad. I used to watch her sometimes, when she didn't know I was there. She'd just start crying for no obvious reason. And she'd cry and cry and cry but the next time she saw you you'd never be able to tell anything was wrong. It was like this mask she put on for everyone else, including me."

"Why?"

"For me, I think it was because she never wanted anything in my life to make me sad. When I was little, I wanted a puppy, like any other little boy. But we lived on a really busy road, and Ithink she knew there was no way we could have a dog for very long without it being doggy pancake. So she scrimped and saved and put away for a year so we could move onto a quieter street and I could get my dog. It was like, anything to make me happy. For everyone else... I guess she just didn't want them to see her as some kind of victim. You know, rich girl abandoned by her boyfriend and disowned by her parents, raising her son all alone... it has all the makings of a movie of the week."

Lucas looked up. "Rich?"

Nathan snorted. "Oh yeah. It wasn't something she talked about much, especially since it was all past tense, but you could just tell she came from privilege by the way she carried herself. She once told me her mother's family owned half of Raleigh. I think their name was... Lancaster? That sound familiar to you?"

Lucas' eyes went wide. "Holy shit, yes. They really do own half of Raleigh. Old money. Seriously, you're talking about some serious North Carolina elite there. That's your mom's family?"

"Well, part of it anyway. It's not like they're anything to me. They kicked her out for getting pregnant. Can you imagine what they'd say if I turned up to claim my share of the millions?"

"Good point. Still, she sounds really nice. She actually sounds a lot like..."

"...Karen, yeah, I know. You know what?" Nathan jumped up and started rooting around under the bed, emerging with a black box. "Why don't I show you?"

One of the amenities the Scott family considered a requirement that Nathan had never had before was a TV and VCR in each bedroom. It was actually a DVD player in the others, but Nathan had asked Dan to get him a VCR instead, and he'd complied, puzzled. Nathan hadn't told him about the many video tapes he and his mom had made. Parties, school plays, Little League games, Nathan's kindergarten graduation... they were all recorded. Most of them would never be watched again, but Nathan couldn't bear to part with them. This one, however, was one of his favorites. In most of the others, his mom was this disembodied voice from behind the camera, but this one had been a birthday party he and some of her friends had thrown as a surprise when she turned 30, so for once she was in front of the camera. With the volume turned way down to avoid waking Dan, he and Lucas watched her screech as everyone jumped out from behind the furniture, greeting and hugging all the people who'd turned out to celebrate her day, and trying to blow out so many cake candles they'd almost set off the smoke alarm. Nathan had watched this tape a few times since she'd died, but seeing it this time, with Lucas, for some reason made it 10 times worse for him, and after only 20 minutes he had to turn it off. "I'm sorry. You can watch the rest of it later if you want."

Lucas shook his head. "That's okay. I think I understand her better now. Do you think Dad knows?"

"What, that he fell in love with the same woman twice? Good question. No idea." He looked back at the blank TV screen. "Lucas, she never, ever would have gone out with Dan if she'd known about you and Karen. Breaking up a family... that's the complete opposite of who she was. That's why she never told him."

Lucas nodded. "I think... I think I get that now." He stood up from the chair he'd plopped himself into when Nathan had put on the tape. "Thank you for sharing her with me."

Nathan nodded. "Hey, you've shared yours right? Isn't that what brothers do?"

Lucas smiled. "I don't know. I'm figuring it out as I go along. It's late. I'll catch you in the morning."

"G'night."

"You too."


	21. Vegas babies have more fun

Vegas Babies Have More Fun

Haley, Lucas and Nathan were sitting in a corner of Karen's caf‚ trying to hatch a plot. This was a bit of a challenge when Haley had to pop up every 3 minutes to serve someone coffee, but even without that, Nathan suspected they'd make no progress. Finding something Dan had to save was proving incredibly hard when the only two things they had to go on were his ego and basketball, both of which were too public. As Haley had pointed out, "The fastest way to make Dan lash out at you is to do anything that might embarrass him in a public forum."

Lucas threw his hands up. "This is nuts. We're not getting anywhere. Maybe we're going at this the wrong way. "

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.

" Maybe we don't need to do something specific. Maybe it's just generally rejecting his idea of the perfect life."

"Such as?" Haley pursued.

"Well, has he started ragging you about your game slipping and losing two guard?"

Nathan's eyes widened. "How'd you know?"

"Because last night while you were finishing up on the lat press, he said something to me about working on my three-pointer. I think he's getting ready to put us back into competition for the spot."

"So, how do we make that work for us?"

"Well," Lucas drawled. "If the perfect spot is two guard, and his boys are so perfect, what does it say if neither one is the two guard?"

Nathan got it immediately. "Of course! You hate playing point and Whitey knows it. We go to him and say I'd like to go back on point and you want... I don't know, think of something. He likes to play with the lineup so he might just go for it."

"Or," Haley added, "he might go for it because he knows Dan and will figure out instantly what it is you're trying to do."

"Whatever," Nathan shot back. "The point is we've drawn a line where we don't want to do battle. We're saying we don't have to be what he was. Especially since it's not like we can both be the two guard."

"Exactly. It has the advantage of being honest too. I mean, that whole fight started because of that position. Who wants it."

Nathan's eyes sparkled. "'Go by unexpected ways', says the master. Nothing could be more unexpected than this."

Lucas threw a balled up napkin at him. "You have spent far too much time studying that book." Nathan smiled and looked away without responding. "Okay, Monday before practice we go to Whitey."

"About what?" came another voice from behind them. "What are you three plotting?"

It was meant in jest, but since they were actually plotting, all three jumped and turned. It was Peyton and Jake. Peyton was carrying a little baby in her arms. "Uh, Peyton," Lucas said, staring at the baby. "Something you want to tell me?"

"Good lord, Lucas, get a grip," Peyton said, rolling her eyes. "You've seen me every day for the last year, most of the time in a tiny little skirt. You think I could have hidden a baby?"

Lucas blushed, while Jake took the baby. "This is my daughter, Jenny. I've finally worked up the courage to start letting people know about her."

Nathan peeked under the blanket at the sleeping baby. "Jake, she's beautiful. This is your family obligation, I take it?"

Jake nodded. "Her mom isn't in the picture. My parents help out, but she still takes up most of my time."

Nathan looked directly into Jake's face. He looked afraid. "She's why you were being so nice to me from the beginning, isn't she."

Jake looked away. "Yeah. And then I saw how you handled yourself like you didn't even care while all the - uh - stuff was going on and it just seemed like if I kept hiding her I was giving in. I decided she should be a Vegas baby."

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but you're not really a Vegas baby until you've played 'spot-the-tell' at a poker table. But that's okay, sweetie," he continued, now talking to the sleeping baby "Don't you worry because Uncle Nathan has your back. You'll be dealing from the bottom in no time."

"You know how to do that?" asked Haley, eyes wide.

Nathan scoffed. "C'mon Hales. It's Vegas. We used to play five card stud for toothpicks in the lunchroom. I have friends whose parents are actual professional card players."

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm feeling there might be a poker night in our future," suggested Lucas.

Jake stared at him. "What the hell is in the water at the casa de Scott? Two months ago you two were trying to kill each other, now it's all sweetness and roses."

"We got tired of the angst," Lucas said. "Besides, if we'd take it any further Jerry Springer would have called."

"You're not wrong," Peyton murmured.

"So, what were you going to talk about Whitey about?" Jake asked, bringing them back to their original question.

Lucas looked at Nathan, who shrugged. "Nathan wants to go back to point guard, but I'm not sure I want to return to the two spot, so we were debating what else might work."

"Gotta be something on offense, Lucas. Defense is not your strong suit."

"Pretty much leave small forward," replied Lucas, completely unaware that Haley and Peyton were rolling their eyes at each other. "What do you think Nathan-small forward?"

"Well," Nathan said thoughtfully. "You've got the small part down." That was as far as he got before Lucas jumped him and got him in a friendly headlock.

"Small? Small? I'll give you small, little brother."

"Um, guys? Speaking of small, can we restrict the roughhousing around the very small person?" Peyton said pointing to the now crying baby.

Nathan and Lucas stood up and apologized to Jake for scaring Jenny. Then he and Peyton took their leave and the three amigos went back to their plotting.


	22. All you need do is ask

All You Need Do Is Ask

Nathan had decided the best part of all the scheming they'd been doing was spending time with Haley. She was smart and funny and friendly and just everything he liked in a girl, but as much as he wanted to ask her out, he was afraid. While he and Lucas had come far, there were still raw areas in their relationship he didn't want to rub, and he was pretty sure Haley might be one of them. Lucas watched them a little too closely for Nathan's comfort, and was generally reluctant to leave them alone. But it had been six weeks and it was time to take the bull by the horns. "Lucas?" he said, standing in the doorway to his brother's bedroom. It was his weekend at Karen's house, which they'd started doing so both boys were there at the same time. Nathan even had his own room there, although there was almost nothing in it but a few changes of clothes and a picture of his mother. Lucas looked up from his homework.

"What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Haley."

"What about her?"

"Well, I'd like to ask her out. But I wanted to run it by you first."

"You're asking me my permission?" asked Lucas, incredulous.

Nathan fiddled with a fringe on the curtain. "Yeah, I guess I am. I've just gotten the feeling that you wouldn't necessarily be hip to the idea."

Lucas regarded him. "I'm not. She's like a sister to me, Nate. You can't go swooping in there and go all Vegas on her."

"What makes you think I'd do that?"

"I saw you with Peyton, man. That kind of stuff would really hurt Haley."

"Peyton? Man, that was just playacting. I was doing it to get a rise out of you, and she was doing it because she was mad at you. It was all for show."

Lucas snorted. "Well, it worked. That was kind of low, Nathan." Nathan said nothing and merely cocked an eyebrow at the older boy. "Okay, no lower than anything I did. But still, you hurt her and brother or no I'd have to hurt you. Just go slow, okay?"

Nathan nodded, knowing that was as close as Lucas was going to get to giving it his blessing, and left him to his homework. He found Karen downstairs, deep in a cookbook. "Looking for something new to serve at the cafe?"

She looked up and smiled. "I'm just looking for a cake recipe for Lucas' birthday. He's not a big fan of celebrating it, but it is his 16th and the least I can do is cake and candles. What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Avoiding homework."

"Nathan...." said Karen ominously. He held up his hands in surrender.

"I'll get to it soon, I promise. I'm just feeling kind of restless."

"Worried about the hearing?" The next hearing was in three weeks.

"More keyed up for the end of the season." Which was in two weeks.

Karen smiled and nodded. "Makes sense. By the way, I never told you how proud I am of you two for agreeing not to fight over the shooting guard position. That was an elegant and noble solution to the problem."

Nathan grinned and shrugged. "Not so sure Dan feels the same way."

Karen pursed her lips. "Dan doesn't really understand the idea of compromise. It's all or nothing with him. That was a possible belief when he only had one boy to push but he hasn't quite figured out how to make it work with two boys yet. He's still working off the old model."

"Past tense..." Nathan murmured to himself.

"What?"

Nathan, who hadn't really meant for Karen to hear him, started. "It's uh, just something Dan said to me when we first met. I used the present tense for something about my mom and he corrected me. Said she was gone and I had to get used to using the past tense."

Karen's face was a thundercloud. "He said that to you. Dan, you freakin'.... How long had she been dead at that point?"

"About 10 hours, maybe? Don't worry, I went off on him, called him a jackass. But since then it's been sort of a theme, people talking about things that should be in the past being in the present. Like me and Lucas getting used to not being only children anymore, or Dan trying to figure out how to be a father to two sons instead of one."

Karen looked at the floor and appeared to be considering her response. Finally she looked up. "Do you ever look around you when you're in school and see someone and think - that guy, there, this is his peak?" Nathan nodded, wondering where she was going with this. "See, Dan's not that guy. He's done really well for himself since high school-great job, great wife if I do say so myself, great son. But he thinks he is. As far as he's concerned, those were the best years of his life."

"So what you're saying is he's the last person who should be lecturing me about what should be in the past?"

Karen chewed her lower lip. "It's more complicated than that. He's obsessed with the future, but he doesn't understand evolution and change. If the greatest achievement of his life was playing shooting guard on the Tree Hill Ravens and getting recruited into the NCAA, then those will be the greatest achievements of his sons' lives as well. That's what he's trying to make happen with all the practicing and drills and workouts. He simply doesn't understand that people change over time, and from one generation to the next. Take Lucas. He'd be just as happy to spend the whole day in the library as the gym, which completely baffles his father. You, I don't know. Is there something you'd rather be doing than basketball?"

Nathan shrugged. "I have no idea. Mom was starting to put a lot of pressure on me about what I wanted to do when I grew up, but I couldn't think of anything. The weird thing about growing up in Vegas is you only see casino-related jobs, and I just couldn't see myself as a pit boss. I had a friend who's dad was in security, and that seemed cool, but it was also kind of dead end. Now I'm seeing other kinds of jobs, but I still don't know."

"Security... hmmmm."

"What? You look like you have an idea."

"Well, I was just thinking. Security, not dead end. What about the police? With a college degree you can be a detective and get promoted up through the ranks. The police officers I deal with at the caf‚ are all great people - I'm sure if I asked they would let you talk to them about what it's like and you could see if it's for you."

Nathan gaped. Police. Why hadn't he thought of that? He thought back to the police officers that had come to get him from school and how nice they'd been. How they'd stayed with him right up until Mrs. Lopez had come to explain what had happened and held his hand when he'd been given her things. He could do that. "That sounds... that sounds..."

Karen grinned and struck a little pose. "Thank you, thank you very much," she said, in a truly terrible Elvis impersonation.

"Karen, you are the absolute bomb. You're amazing. I bow before your greatness," he said, bowing deeply.

"Well, consider this my interference for the week, per the judge's orders."

Nathan abruptly set aside pondering his future on the thin blue line. She'd just given him the window he'd been looking for for a while. "Karen. You know that letter? The one my mom wrote?"

"Yes," she said, suddenly serious as well.

"I was wondering.... Would you mind if I read it?"

Karen's eyes widened. "Of course not, Nathan. You have every right to read it. But, just out of curiosity, why now? I'd sort of given up on you ever asking to see it."

He studied his toes. "I wasn't ready at first. And then there was all that stuff with Lucas, and then I couldn't figure out how to ask. It seemed like a private thing. Your relationship with her, not mine."

"Okay, first off, that's hogwash. My relationship with your mother is you. For me, you and it are not two separate entities. Second, you can always ask me anything. I mean it. Got me?" He nodded dumbly. "Right. Come with me." She lead him back to the office she used to keep track of her personal and professional business and opened a file cabinet, pulling out a very thick folder. "This is the Nathan folder."

Nathan's eyes widened. "All that is about me?"

"Anything to do with custody. You should see the one for Lucas' custody battle. I thought I was going to have to get the floor reinforced. Anyway, here's what you're looking for." She pulled out an envelope, "Karen Scott" written across the front in the much missed handwriting. "I'll leave you alone."

Nathan nodded and she left. Nathan sat at the desk and began to read.

"Karen:

Right at this moment, you probably think I'm a little crazy, giving my son into the care of a total stranger, and I feel I must write you and explain myself a little. I hope by doing so I can give you what you will need to make a family for Nathan.

There was never anyone else but Dan, and there is no question that he is Nathan's father. I was going to tell him I was pregnant the night he told me about you, and I just felt so betrayed for both of us, that he would know about you and your baby the whole time he was dating me. So I chose to not tell him, to deprive him of his son. I was so angry at him for such a long time. Finally I just couldn't do it anymore.

I knew I had to plan for Nathan should something happen to me. I am completely alone in the world. I have friends who I know would take Nathan in a heartbeat should it come to that, but no family I can turn to. To be honest, if I didn't know exactly where Nathan's father was, I might have decided to go with the friend option, but I do know. He's with you, and your son, and I can't continue to deprive Nathan of his father just because I felt betrayed.

I only saw you once, for a few minutes. You were playing with your son, and I saw enough that I believe I can depend on you for this. You and I, we are different women, but we are the same. We are the mothers of Dan Scott's sons. We know what that means. Perhaps it would have been easier if we had had girls, but the dice didn't role that way, and it's on us, or rather you, to balance out Dan and his single-minded drive and focus.

For whatever reason, I am no longer in Nathan's life. Right now, he's only 10, and he's still my baby. I can't imagine anyone else taking care of him, but I have to. I am depending on you to give him a brother and father and all the things I never could give him. I am depending on you to give him family. I am depending on you because you are a mother. You know what I am asking, and what it means, better than anyone else possibly could. Please, though you may hate me right now, don't let me down. Don't take out whatever anger you might feel toward me on Nathan. I'm sorry; more sorry than you can imagine, for whatever disruption I have caused you and your family, but you're the only one who can protect him. You're the only one who can understand. You're the only one I can trust.

Sincerely,

Deb Carver"


	23. Past Tense, spilling over

Past Tense, Spilling Over

His mom's letter hit Nathan harder than he'd expected. Karen had, after a quick hug, left him alone the rest of the afternoon, and he'd finally cried himself to sleep, dreaming about the times at Lake Mead or the amusement park. But he'd woken up in the middle of the night, petrified because he couldn't remember which trip to the lake it had been when she'd dropped the camera in the water and he'd foolishly dived in after it. He could feel the edges blurring. He was starting to forget. Terrified, he sat at his desk to write down everything he could remember. That was how Lucas found him the next morning, bleary and wild-eyed and typing away furiously at his laptop. "Hey, you want to go... What's wrong?"

"I'm forgetting her Lucas. I'm starting to forget things. I can't let that happen. I've gotta write it all down before she's gone completely. Gotta get it all down on paper so she can't leave me, gotta make sure she doesn't go, not again..."

Lucas ran downstairs like the hounds of hell were behind him. "Mom! Mom, you gotta come, it's Nathan. I think he's having some kind of breakdown. He says he has to write everything about his mom down so she can't leave him again. It looks like he's been up half the night typing."

Karen jumped up from her coffee. "Call Elizabeth Holly. Her emergency pager's by the phone. Then call Ruth Plumber - she's in my address book. When Elizabeth calls back, tell her what you just told me. Then, and only then do you call your father. In fact, wait 10 minutes before you call him. This is not something he's equipped to deal with." Lucas nodded grimly and reached for the phone.

Karen ran upstairs and found Nathan just as bad as Lucas had described. "Nathan, sweetie, how long have you been up?"

He turned to her. "Mom, is that you? I'm writing you down Mom, I'm making sure you don't go. I've just got to get you all in here and then you won't have to leave, okay Mom?"

Karen had no idea what to do. Nothing in her experience had prepared her for what appeared to be a complete break with reality. But he didn't seem to be hurting himself, so she stood in the doorway and watched him type until she felt Lucas come up behind her and pull her away. "Elizabeth said she's going to come over and should be here in half an hour. Mrs. Plumber is on her way too, I caught her just as she was walking out the door for church, but it's going to take her a lot longer."

"Have you called your father yet?"

"No. I'm kind of wondering if we even should."

Karen privately agreed, but knew that wasn't an option. "He's his son, we can't keep this from him. But let's wait until about 10 minutes before Elizabeth gets here. I don't want him here alone with Nathan for too long."

It ended up not being an issue since Dan had gone out for a run and didn't get the message until well after Elizabeth had gotten there, by which time she had managed to get Nathan back to reality. Mrs. Plumber had beat him by 10 minutes and was upstairs with Nathan, tucking him into bed. Lucas had elected to stay with him as well, but Elizabeth and Karen were sitting in the kitchen talking. "What the heck is going on? I get this message from Lucas on my cellphone that Nathan's had some kind of fit about Deb - is he okay?"

"He's good now, Dan," Karen reassured him. "Ruth and Lucas are upstairs with him now."

Dan started toward the stairs. "I'm going to go check on him. This makes no sense, she's been gone like six months, he should be over it by now."

"Mr. Scott, please sit down," Elizabeth said in a tone that made it clear she wasn't asking. "Before you go upstairs, there are a few things we need to clear up. First, it hasn't been like six months, it's been exactly six months. This Tuesday is the date of his mother's murder." Dan stopped like he'd been struck with a thunderbolt. She was right and he'd completely forgotten. It  
was six months ago almost to the day that he'd flipped on the TV for that fateful newscast. He sat. "Second, your son's grief is exactly on schedule. Up until now he's been dealing with so many other changes and adjustments, he hasn't allow himself to grieve. Now he can, and you need to allow him this, or you'll be setting him up for extremely serious problems down the line. Third, and this is where I need you to really pay attention to me. I need to impress on you the seriousness of the situation. Nathan was on the edge of what I can only describe as a full disassociative break with manic elements. He thought Karen was his mother, and was insisting that the only way he could keep her from leaving him again was to write down every aspect of their life together so he wouldn't forget. If I hadn't been able to bring him back to reality, I would have had no choice but to admit him for observation. That means at least a mandatory 72- hour stay in a psychiatric facility. Is that what you want?" Dan shook his head dumbly. "The one thing this episode makes perfectly clear to me is that you have not given him a chance to talk with you about his mother. Out of everyone around him, you're the only person who actually knew her. You're the only one who can understand when he talks about her. Why have you never given him that chance?"

Dan met her gaze. "I wanted him to move on. I thought if he spent too much time talking about her he'd never be able to let go."

Elizabeth threw up her hands. "Have you not heard a word I've said in all those therapy sessions? The only way he can let go is to talk about her. Did you know that boys who lose their mothers in their early teens are significantly more likely to develop addiction issues later on? Did you know they are more likely to have unhealthy relationships and even abuse their partners? If we don't catch this now, you could end up with a violent alcoholic on your hands."

Dan looked down again. "I thought I knew what was best for my son."

Karen reached across the table and took Dan's hand. "Danny, you only barely know him. How could you know what was best for him? For instance, did you know he has a raging crush on Haley?"

Dan was startled. "Haley? But she's such a mouse. He can do better than that."

"See? That's my point. He doesn't want some flamboyant cheerleader type like Peyton or Brooke. He wants Haley, and you didn't know," Karen responded.

Dan took his hand back, mouth set in a thin line. "I'd like to go upstairs now."

Elizabeth waved her hand. "Fine, but we will be taking up this subject again, Mr. Scott."

While this was happening downstairs, Lucas and Nathan were upstairs, preparing to 'fess up. It had started when Nathan, while crawling out of the shower and into bed, and cracked a weak joke to Lucas about this messing up the plan. Mrs. Plumber had picked up on it immediately and her eyes narrowed. "And what plan might that be?"

Nathan and Lucas both froze. Nathan knew her well enough to know that they were busted, but he had no idea how to tell her the truth. "Uh...."

Her eyes narrowed still more. "You might as well tell me young man, because I'm not leaving until you do. And don't bother trying to lie to me."

Nathan looked at Lucas, who looked at Nathan and shrugged. "She's your guardian ad litem, dude. We might as well tell her the truth." So they'd told her all about the walk in the woods, and how they'd realized their problem wasn't each other but Dan, and how they were using Sun Tzu to try and come up with a plan for something they could do that would make him back into a human being instead of a cartoon. "We're not having much luck so far, though. The best we've come up with is we agreed to stop fighting for that stupid shooting guard spot. We went to Whitey and he rearranged the lineup so neither one of us has it."

Mrs. Plumber stared at them for a moment and then burst out laughing. "Every time I think kids can't surprise me anymore something new comes down the pike. You seriously were looking in The Art of War for something to show you how to change your father?"

Nathan was a little annoyed. It was a good plan. "What's so funny?"

"Don't you see," she said, still giggling. "You don't need a plan. You're already doing it. Everyone always goes on and on about parents shaping children, but children shape parents just as much. You don't need some plan or grand campaign, you just need to live your lives the way you want to. If you insist on using Sun Tzu, then go back to the line in the earth Judge Krueger was talking about. You've already started. Dan's insanely competitive so you rejected the competitive dynamic he was trying to force you into and compromised on the spot. You drew a line. That makes him stop and think. Maybe it's not necessary to be that competitive. Personally I think it'll take a few more repetitions of the lesson, but you've put the thought in his head at least. Just being brothers, learning to share and compromise and live together as brothers should, that's your plan, right there."

Lucas didn't have as much experience with Mrs. Plumber as Nathan did, so he just stared at her, mouth open. Nathan buried his head under his pillow and groaned. "Luke, we are the biggest idiots ever to grace the face of this planet. Of course! Here we are trying to come up with a big thing and when what we needed was a bunch of little things."

Lucas dragged his dazed stare away from Mrs. Plumber. "What do you mean?"

"Karen said something to me yesterday about Dan not understanding change and evolution. When we stopped fighting, we were evolving; creating change in our lives. We were going the unexpected way. He sees past, present, and future as separate and discrete from each other, like rooms with doors that connect but you have to close one to open the next. Abrupt radical change, not slow natural progression. We have to show him that it's continuous, like a hallway. And the best way to show him..."

"...is to do it."

"Exactly."

"See? I knew you'd figure it out," said a very satisfied Mrs. Plumber.

Nathan spent most of the rest of the day in bed. Elizabeth had left after scheduling a few extra sessions for the next week. Mrs. Plumber had gone to talk to Karen and return home while Dan was up with Nathan and Lucas, both of whom were perplexed at why their normally bombastic father seemed so subdued. Later in the afternoon, Haley, Peyton, and Jake stopped by. They brought Jenny with them, who was in an exceptionally good mood and went a long way toward lightening the mood in Nathan's room with her baby laughter and babbling. And if Nathan noticed, while bouncing "Vegas Jenny" on his knee, that his laptop left with Haley for a few minutes, or that when she came back she slid a disk into a desk drawer and the file with all his ramblings on it was gone from the hard drive, he didn't say. He did notice, however, when she leaned over and gave him a light soft kiss on the forehead just before leaving. He took her hand and gave it a tiny squeeze, which she returned. Despite the way his day had started, Nathan went to bed that night happier than he could remember being in a long time. His last thought before going to sleep was "I should have a nervous breakdown more often..."


	24. The Art of Change

The Art of Change

The next three weeks were three of the oddest of Nathan's young life. Lucas was okay, and of course nothing stopped Whitey, not even being told his best point guard had suffered an emotional crisis, but everyone else, to varying degrees, wanted to treat him as if he was made of glass. Karen started making him lunches and dropping them off at school on her way to open the cafe or sending them with Lucas. Peyton and Jake didn't seem to know how to act around him, so it inevitably got awkward. Haley, who he had finally asked out, spent their first week as a couple opening doors for him, as if he was too brittle to do it himself, although she had mercifully stopped when he'd pointed out what she was doing. After that she was mostly normal, if still a little overly cheerful.

The biggest change though, was Dan, who had undergone such a radical change of character Nathan wondered exactly which one of them had had the breakdown. He was tiptoeing around Nathan as if the slightest little thing would make him break, asking him how his day went without mentioning basketball, and offering to help him drill rather than insisting on it. He'd even made a few tentative efforts to talk about Deb. At first Nathan felt too raw from his "mother episode", as they referred to it and had demurred, but eventually he was able to open up. What shocked him was that Dan had opened up as well, and told him some stories about their brief time together that had reassured Nathan as to the nature of his parents' relationship. Overall, it was like Dan had been kidnaped by aliens and had his brain swapped. Lucas, after the first day of a Lucas week, had gone so far as to say "Who are you and what have you done with my father," but Dan had just given them a rather scary smile and ignored them. Not that Nathan was arguing. He always agreed to Dan's requests for practice simply because he had no idea what was going on and didn't want to reject Dan that severely. What he discovered, after all the pressure vanished, was that he genuinely enjoyed playing with Dan. They could have fun. Dan still got competitive, but Nathan had developed a strategy for that, and would start playing poorly as soon as Dan got aggressive. That would always make him stop and though the old Dan would probably have started haranguing him about his focus sliding and not giving in to pressure, this new, weird Dan would offer to help him fix whatever he was having trouble with. Nathan had no idea if this was what having a father was supposed to be like, but all-in-all he really liked it.

"Next case!" The bailiff's voice completely startled him out of his reverie. They were once again standing outside Judge Krueger's courtroom, awaiting their day in court on permanent custody. Mrs. Plumber had arrived with Whitey, and given him a smile and quick wink when noone else was looking. Nathan had grinned and returned a thumbs-up and everyone found their way into the courtroom. The judge swept in and got right down to business. "And here we all are again, together with some new friends. New people, introduce yourselves, starting with you," she said, pointing to Whitey. After that was disposed her, she called Elizabeth to the stand.

"Miss Holly, I understand you have some progress to report."

"Yes your honor. I was asked by the court to specifically address two issues, the relationship between Lucas and Nathan and the relationship between Dan and Nathan. The first appears to be almost entirely addressed. Luke and Nathan have healed the division between them and appear well on their way to developing a normal relationship as brothers."

"Thank you. Before we get to the second, let's stay on this one for a bit. What precipitated this blessed event, may I ask?"

The therapist grinned. "They were... stranded together, rather far from home. It gave them an opportunity to air some of their grievances."

"Ah yes," said the judge, looking at her notes. "It says here we have you to thank, Mr. Durham. I would be remiss if I didn't add that putting two young boys off a bus far from home is hardly a tactic I'd advocate in the future, despite the happy outcome."

"Your honor, it was an extraordinary action for an extraordinary situation. If I never have such a pair on my team again as Lucas and Nathan before that night, I'll consider my life complete."

"I suspect you're right, Coach. Lucas."

"Yes your honor?" Lucas remembered his encounter with the judge in Las Vegas, and was a little scared.

"What do you have to say? Have you reconciled yourself with whatever it was that made you dislike Nathan at first?"

Lucas looked down then up again. "Your honor, I can't help it. I still feel like Dad cheated on Mom when he hooked up with Nathan's mother. Mom keeps telling me that she doesn't feel that way, but he knew she was pregnant. Even if they were technically broken up or on a break or whatever, that's still cheating to me. I hated the idea, so I hated Nathan. It took me a long time to understand that it wasn't his fault. Dude, I'm so, so sorry." This last was to Nathan who just nodded in acknowledgment.

"I'm very pleased to hear you say that Lucas. Nathan, anything to add on this subject?"

"Not really, your honor. We both did stuff while we were fighting that we are still making up for, but we're working through it and learning how to be brothers."

"Excellent. Then we can put that issue to rest. Now, on the second issue. Miss Holly, would you care to report on how things are getting on between Nathan and his father?"

Elizabeth paused, and considered her reply. "To be honest, your honor, if we were having this hearing a month ago, I would have to report that it was not what I considered to be a sound and healthy parent child relationship. Mr. Scott has a temper and puts an inordinate amount of pressure on both boys to excel, which to him means only to excel at basketball. Nothing else seems to be a part of the metric. I once asked him about Nathan's grades, and he didn't know off the top of his head. However, recent events have caused me to revise that opinion."

"You are referring to this episode three weeks ago."

"Yes, your honor. That seems to have functioned as some kind of wake up call for Mr. Scott, and the alteration in his behavior has been extraordinary. I cannot however, testify as to whether the change is permanent, it being so recent."

"Of course. Mr. Durham, you've probably known Mr. Scott the longest and know the most about his personality. Would you care to comment?"

Whitey stood. "Your honor, I've known Dan Scott since he was 11 years old and trying to get me to let him on the team with his older brother Keith. Since Lucas hit the squad Danny's done nothing but make my life miserable. Well, last week we made the post-season and he didn't even come over to gloat that it was all 'cause of his boys, even though it was. I gotta figure when Nathan cracked up, that just put the fear of God in him, cause I ain't never seen him like this. I have no idea who this guy even is."

Nathan winced a little at Whitey's typifying his little incident as 'cracking up', then looked over at Dan to see what he was thinking of all this frank and honest analysis of his character. He looked positively ashen.

"An honest answer, Mr. Durham. Thank you. Now I think it's time to hear from the boy at the center of this. Nathan, would you come up here and take the seat by me?" Elizabeth removed herself from the stand and Nathan took her spot. "What say you, Mr. Carver? We've heard that your father is a changed man, is he changed enough to be the father you need?"

Nathan cleared his throat nervously. "Ma'am, can I be honest?"

"I would hope for nothing less, Nathan."

"I don't think that's the right question."

The judge arched her eyebrow. "Really. And why not?"

"Because... I think my mom can explain it better." He reached into his jacket and pulled out an envelope. "Those letters she wrote Dan and Karen? She wrote me one too. She'd rewrite it every year on my birthday. Do you mind if I read the last one?"

"Please."

He cleared his throat again.

"My dear sweet boy:

If you are reading this that can mean only that I am gone and you are off to live with your father. Maybe you've met him already, and maybe you haven't, but I'll get to that later. What I want you to know first, last, and always, is that you could not have been any more perfect a son. You are the source of all joy in my life and there is nothing on this earth that could have made me trade one minute with you. The day you were born is the day I knew real love, and that feeling has never left me once in the 15 years since.

Now, for whatever reason I have had to leave you. I would never have wished this on you, my child, who has never known any family but me in the whole world, but I truly believe that you will be fine. I've tried to not tell you much about Dan, simply because we were together so briefly and I didn't want to get anything wrong, but I can tell you he is a good man, and he was a devoted enough father to return to Karen and their son when he knew it was necessary. Yes, you have a brother. I don't know his name, but I know he has good parents, so I believe he will be good as well.

I'm selfish enough to not regret keeping you to myself all these years, but now that is no longer possible, so I am sending you to the best place you could possibly be. You are going to have a real family, Nathan, the one thing I could never give you. Consider this my final bequest to you. Try and learn from them as you learned from me, and I learned from you. Make them your life and your home as you and I have made each other our life and home. I will be watching you always, Nathan. Make me proud."

Nathan folded up the letter and put it back in his pocket. He'd made it through with only the slightest breaks and trembles in his voice, and now he felt empty, like every piece of him was open, exposed. Karen was weeping, while Lucas looked like he was about to. Dan's face was hidden in his hands, his arms trembling. Whitey had given up all pretense and wrapped his arm around Mrs. Plumber, eyes red. Even the lawyers and Mrs. Lawlor looked like they were only barely keeping it together. Judge Krueger squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "Tell me, young man, did the men who killed your mother receive the death penalty?"

"Pled out, your honor. Life without parole."

"Good," she said. "That means I can drive over the Nevada and beat the living shit out of them for murdering such a rare person. Thank you for sharing her words with us."

"Yes, ma'am."

"But, now you must tell me why I asked the wrong question."

Nathan looked down again. "She told me what I had to do, and I didn't do it. I only did what Dan told me, because he was my father, this mythical creature I'd always wanted without knowing anything about what having one meant. I thought it meant pleasing him, and being what he wanted me to be. I forgot her last words. Family learns from each other, and I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain. So I let him dictate everything about me and change me without giving anything back in return. I thought how he thought, and believed what he believed, because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. That was what set up the fight with Lucas at that game. That was the same night I realized what was going on, but he was still there. Lucas and I tried to use The Art of War to come up with this ridiculous revenge plot to try and change Dan, and I didn't even realize that that was the kind of thing he would do. He was still in my head, whispering and I couldn't hear anyone else. It's like I had done too good a job of blocking my past and starting over, and I'd forgotten everything Mom ever said. I had to let her back in. When I did, well, you know what happened. I freaked out. But that turned out to be a good thing. Because I saw what I had done. You can't have a present without a past. You can't have a future without both. And you can't have a family without everyone's pasts and presences interacting and shaping each other's futures. So don't ask if Dan has changed enough. Ask if I have, ask if Lucas or Karen or Mrs. Plumber or Whitey or Keith has. Because we all let him do this to us. We're as much to blame as he is."

The silence that had followed the letter was nothing to what came after Nathan finished this time. It was as if someone had set off a stun grenade in the room, and noone knew what to do after the boom and the flash. Noone seemed to breathe or move, for an eternity. Finally Judge Krueger   
shook herself and woke up. "Mr. Carver, you are truly wise beyond your years." She turned to   
Dan. "Care to respond, Mr. Scott?"

Dan stood. He'd been feeling nauseous since before Nathan had read Deb's letter, and hearing about how his boys had felt the need to launch some kind of revenge against him had set up a weird fluttering in his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "Your honor," he gasped, and then stopped because all the air was leaving the room, no air, and everyone was looking at him, and they were sucking all the air from the room getting smaller why the room smaller, but there was no time no time to wonder about the shrinking room because he was on the floor and all the people were around him shouting stop shouting using all the oxygen and one face swam into   
focus his son so recently discovered so new so much like his mother so smart his boy last chance and reaching up arm hurting so badly being stabbed must tell smart boy with mother's eyes   
whispering "Three weeks wasn't enough" before the tiny airless room and all the people swam away across the night sky over the Nevada desert.


	25. The Shortcomings of Sun Tzu

The Shortcomings of Sun Tzu

It was official. The most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen was to be convinced you were dying, make your final apology, and wake up in the hospital, groggy and having to pee. The first face that swam into focus upon awaking was the last one he'd seen before blacking out: Nathan, sitting in a chair besides the bed, eyes closed. He tried to say something that came out barely a croak, but Nathan stirred. "Hey, you're awake! Of course it would be the minute Lucas went to the can, Don't try to talk. Let me call the nurse. They said to let them know the minute you woke up." He reached up over the bed and pushed a button Dan couldn't see. "Okay, here's the summary. You collapsed in the courtroom. Turned out you were having a heart attack. It was in the middle range as far as they go, so you've had a bypass, but the good news is the doctor thinks you'll be okay if you take it easy for the next year or so." Dan must have gotten a panicked look in his face because Nathan gave him a grin. "Don't bother trying to object, because it's not going to work." Then he leaned close in and whispered in Dan's ear, "I don't think three weeks was enough either, Dad." So Dan just nodded and closed his eyes and let a swarm of nurses and sons fuss over him.

For the next week, he was never alone. During the day it was back and forth to labs for 30 billion tests and at night the boys insisted on staying with him, trying to fold their tall forms into the uncomfortable hospital chairs to get some sleep. And endless streams of visitors. Susan and a few other people from Harris had come to visit, bringing him balloons shaped like cars. Keith and Karen were there more than they weren't and even Mrs. Plumber came by for a visit with Whitey, much to Dan's surprise. But the most surprising visitor came on the last day while he was waiting for his discharge papers. "Judge Krueger!"

The judge looked so different outside of her robes. Younger. "Don't look so surprised. I try to follow up on everyone who almost dies in my courtroom. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone cut my chest open and played the mambo on my internal organs. But, apparently I'll live. I'm sorry I made such a spectacle."

The judge waved his apology away. "If I had a nickel for every heart attack in my courtroom... No, really, court is stressful on a lot of people. I think yours was one of the more memorable though."

"Gee, thanks," said Dan, dryly. "What happens now? I mean, we never got to the important part."

"Sure we did. I heard everything I needed to." She grinned, and then flabbergasted him by shouting "Ally-ally-in-come-free!" Everyone came into the room - Lucas, Nathan, Karen, Mrs. Plumber, the lawyers, and the court stenographer. "We don't let a little thing like a heart attack stop the wheels of justice or we'd never get anything done. So, in the matter of the custody of Nathan Scott Carver, after due consideration of the evidence and the testimony of all involved parties, I rule that Daniel Scott is the permanent legal guardian of his son Nathan. Karen Roe Scott shall remain as a temporary guardian with a goal of second parent adoption. Physical custody to remain as is. Mrs. Plumber, any objections?"

"None, your honor."

"Then the court thanks you for your service as Nathan's guardian ad litem and releases you. It was been a pleasure to work with you, and I hope you will continue as a CASA volunteer in my court."

"Of course, your honor. And thank you."

"Anyone else? Good. Court is adjourned. Now, wait, back on record. Mr. Scott. My final judicial recommendation is that you strongly consider disposing of Sun Tzu. He may be great shakes on the basketball court or in the showroom, but when it comes to family, he's got nothing. Okay, now we're adjourned. Mr. Carver," she said, ruffling his hair like a small child despite the almost foot difference in their heights. Nathan turned purple. "I expect to hear good things of you in the future. And you too, Lucas. I'd hate to ever see you back in my courtroom."

"No, ma'am."

"Good boy," she said, then paused, as if noticing their size for the first time. She turned to Karen and said "What the heck are you feeding these two?" before sweeping out, motioning for the stenographer and lawyers to follow.

Dan leaned back in the bed. "Someone want to tell me what's going on? It's not nice to surprise a guy who's just had a heart attack, you know."

Nathan jumped into the bed next to him. "Sorry, Dad. It was my idea. I asked Mrs. Plumber to file a motion for a hearing while you were out and we all met and fixed it up. We agreed we're going to give and take equally as a real family and since we knew what we have to do there was no reason to wait another three months so we asked her to bring it here."

"What was the second parent thing?" Dan replied, still baffled by this turn of events.

Nathan raised his hand. "Guilty again. I asked Karen if she would consider adopting me so I could have both a father and a mother but she said she had to talk to you about that, so we left her part of the ruling alone. We can work it out later after you're feeling better."

Dan raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, I give up. I bow to your superior wisdom. Just tell me you haven't talked Susan into giving you my job too. I still have that, right?"

"Well, she did offer me something for the summer...."

Dan buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"...just kidding. Besides, I already have a summer job."

"Oh really, what's that?" Dan asked.

"Well, see I started this project, and I just screwed it up entirely, so now I have to start over. Wanna help?"

Dan cocked his head to he could get a clear look at Nathan's face. "You know, that sounds good. But why don't we all do it together, the four of us, as a family."

"Second," chimed in Lucas.

"Works for me," said Karen. "Let's show him the contract."

Dan stared. "There's a contract?"

'Yep," said Lucas, pulling out a folder. "It's a family contract. We each chose one thing that we were going to commit to do that will help make us work as a family. See?"

And that's exactly what it was. At the top was a decorative ribbon scroll that read "The Carver- Roe-Scott Family Contract". Below, the same hand had written each name and what their commitment was. Karen had written "I will understand that basketball is important to Dan and not try and inhibit him as long as it isn't hurting someone else." Lucas' said "I will make my feelings and needs know in an open and honest fashion and not let everything build up inside." Nathan was going to "acknowledge that my family has grown considerably and I must balance my own wants and needs against theirs in all things." Dan felt tears come to his eyes for the first time in years.

"This is amazing. What do I do?"

"Decide what your commitment is, and then write it down. Peyton will add it on. She did the rest of it," Lucas said, handing him a pen and paper.

Dan took the pen and considered. What could his commitment be? His children who had hated him were willing to take this chance, but how could he reply in kind? What could he do that would match this? Finally he set pen to paper and after a few minutes scratching and scribbling out, had something that worked. "Okay. I, Dan Scott, will recognize that my sons' priorities may not be the same as my own, and that theirs and my futures will be arrived at by a process of negotiation and compromise." Karen applauded and Lucas and Nathan gave each other a high five.

Dan turned around, noticing there were still one more person in the room. "Mrs. Plumber, despite the end of your formal relationship with my son, I would be honored if you would continue to participate in the life of this family and contribute to the family contract."

Mrs. Plumber smiled. "Given such a gallant invitation, how can I refuse? It would be my honor and pleasure. But you are going to have to start calling me Ruth," she added, taking the pen. "How about... Ruth Plumber commits to being a member of this family in whatever capacity is most needed at the time."

"Sounds good," agreed Dan. "And we should get Keith on there too."

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Danny," said Karen, taking the pen and pad back.

As the orderly showed up with the wheel chair and the family left the hospital, Mrs. Plumber started mentally drafting the very long letters she would soon be writing to Nina Lopez and George Nevins. Good news deserved to be shared.


	26. Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Quinoa

Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Quinoa  
  
Dan yawned and put down the book he'd been reading. He'd been doing a lot of reading since his release from the hospital a few weeks before. Unfortunately, it was mostly wasted, since his phalanx of doctors had gotten together and decided he couldn't read or see anything that wasn't completely relaxing, as in anything remotely work-related, basketball-related, or as one of them had said somewhat vaguely, "stimulating". He hadn't understood what that meant until he'd come home and found his entire collection of Playboys missing. Karen assured him they were just put away safely, and not gone entirely, but he wasn't sure he trusted the little twinkle in her eye when she'd said it. The Playboys had always been a sore spot.  
  
Keith had been his saviour. Trapped inside with nothing to do, his brother had turned up with a stack of books he'd read for his Men's Book Club. Dan had had no idea Keith was in any kind of book club, or what a Men's Book Club might be, but the books had generally turned out to be great, mostly adventure and travel type stuff. William Least Heat Moon had been a bit of a pansy, and no force on earth was going to get him to read anything with "Hornblower" in the title, but he was currently halfway through A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, who, he'd decided, was his new favourite. Anyone who could make a fear of being attacked by bears into one of the funniest things he'd ever read was the goods. He made a note to ask the boys to pick him up some more Bryson from the bookstore.  
  
Well. Speak of the devil. Dan eyed the tray Nathan was carrying. "You do realize I am perfectly capable of getting my own lunch, right?"  
  
Nathan set the tray down on the low coffee table. "Yep. Don't care. The doctor said to limit exertion, which right now includes pretty much everything. Besides, it's nice out here," he added, gesturing around the glassed in porch that was serving as Dan's convalescing space. He and Nathan were living at Karen's for the moment, since their house didn't have a bedroom on the ground floor. It was odd being back here. The last time he'd slept under this roof, it had been on the couch, and the next morning he'd awoken to find two suitcases packed by the door. He could tell Karen remembered that night as well, by her stiff formality and her unwillingness to be alone with him when he first arrived, but now she seemed okay. In the meantime, he avoided the living room and spent most of his day on the patio they'd enclosed when they first bought the house, to which the air conditioning fortunately extended and where Lucas and Nathan had moved a little refrigerator, easy chair, and bookcase. No television though. There was not a TV to be found in the entire house at the moment, since they couldn't figure out a way to block the medically-forbidden ESPN. No wonder he was getting so much reading done.  
  
Ah, here came the other nurse-slash-warden now. Lucas was carrying water bottles and another book. "I swung by the garage this morning and Keith asked me to bring this month's book over. He's done with it now, so you can keep it as long as you want." He passed the book to his father, who flipped through it. North to the Night. There were pictures: a lot of snow, a lot of ice. And what was that cat doing sitting on the guy's head? Oh well, he had a lot of time to find out. The doctors informed him it would be at least 6 weeks before he was allowed out of this zone of nothing they'd cocooned him in.  
  
Nathan had disappeared and reappeared with a fruit plate. Dan grimaced. As awful as having a heart attack had been, the recovery was shaping up just as bad. No TV, heaven only knew what was going on over at Harris, and no real food. No more than one egg a day, and forget any kind of red meat. No butter on anything, even toast. Dairy products in general were limited. He'd actually been reduced to some vile excrescence called Toffuti for dessert. Piles of steamed vegetables, but no salt allowed. Last night he'd been forced to eat some kind of weird Peruvian grain called quinoa, which as far as he was concerned could stay in Peru until the end of time. If he saw one more boneless, skinless chicken breast he was going to scream.   
  
This meal was no different. A small ham and cheese sandwich on whole grain bread with what looked like a small sink beside it, full of salad. No dressing though, just lemon wedges. He sighed. And he just knew the ham was going to turn out to be low-salt, the cheese low-fat, and the mayo made from canola oil. He took a bite. Yep. The whole thing was ersatz. "I don't suppose I could convince you to go make me a little steak..."   
  
Lucas snorted and Nathan guffawed. "Nice try, Pop. Eat your salad."  
  
Dan poked at the lettuce. "You know, the Bible says to honor thy father."  
  
Lucas put down North to the Night, whose pictures he'd been perusing. "We are. We're honoring him by making sure he lives to see 40. Stop whining. We still have quinoa."  
  
Dan hurriedly pulled back. "Gak. However did you find that stuff, anyway?"  
  
"Ornish diet. Karen bought a few books," Nathan said. "It's supposed to be very high in protein."  
  
"Yeah, well, so is a pork chop."  
  
"Give it up, Dad," Lucas said, returning to the book. "Nathan and I have you boxed in."  
  
Dan looked glumly to the vat of rabbit food. "Great," he mumbled. "They're ganging up on me again." He hadn't really meant to say it, nor for them to hear it, but when he heard the book fall from Lucas' fingers, he knew they had. He looked up. Nathan was white as a ghost, and Lucas was staring down at the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't... I mean, I know you didn't... Look, just forget I said it." Lucas stood and spun out of the room. Nathan was trying to look anywhere but at his father. "Really. I was just kidding."  
  
Nathan shook his head. "No you weren't. We did a horrible thing, and it almost killed you. You should be mad at us."  
  
Dan gawped. "You think I'm mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?"  
  
Nathan's hands were twisting together. "Because of what I said in court... about what we were trying to do. It made you have that heart attack."  
  
Dan took a deep breath and fought back the urge to thwap his younger son. "Nathan, it may have looked like that, but when I described everything to the doctor, he said the attack had probably started earlier, when you read that letter from your mom, or maybe even when Whitey was talking. And really it started when I let my blood pressure get so high because I kept putting off the physical for the Harris executives' insurance. Susan let me have it with both barrels for that one. Nothing you said or did caused me to have a heart attack."  
  
Nathan shook his head. "It's still my fault. That whole Art of War thing was my idea." A hint of desperation was creeping into his voice. "I just... we just... We didn't really want revenge. I used the wrong word in court. We just wanted you to be different. Less aggressive. Less competitive. We didn't hate you."  
  
"I did, a little," came Lucas' voice from the door. "I was still mad at you about Nathan's mom. And some other stuff, but mostly about that. We did want to change you, but I think I may have wanted a little revenge too."  
  
Dan felt that weird fluttering in his chest and took several deep breaths, which seemed to help. "I think... No, I know I probably deserve that anger, Lucas, although not for the reasons you think. Your mom and I had a very complicated relationship back then. I knew she was pregnant, but I went off to college anyway and met Deb. I basically abandoned Karen to single motherhood. The longer I was away from her, the more I knew I couldn't do it. As much as I liked Deb, your mom was pregnant, and it wasn't right to let her do it alone. It certainly wasn't fair to Deb to drag her into something she didn't even know she was a part of, and that she never would have agreed to had she known."  
  
Lucas sat back down. "So I shouldn't be angry at you for cheating on Mom, I should be angry for almost abandoning us entirely? I'm not sure which is worse, Dad."  
  
"I was 18, and completely unprepared to be a father and a husband. I had all this opportunity, and all I saw was you and your mother, blocking my way. I was selfish. I'm sorry."  
  
Lucas shook his head. "It's gonna take more than that, Dad."  
  
"I know."  
  
The two silently made eye contact for a moment, before Dan broke the gaze and turned to Nathan. "What about you? Any particular reason you decided to turn to Sun Tzu for advice on coping with me?"  
  
Nathan opened his mouth and then closed it again. He looked helplessly at his older brother, who shrugged. "Tell him the whole story, man." So he'd told him about walking down the side of the road, and realizing where all their fighting was coming from, and their resolve to try and change their father into someone different. Dan was silent throughout the whole thing and for a few minutes after.  
  
"Dad, please, say something," Nathan begged.  
  
Dan considered his response, and then just decided to go with his first question, which was "What, precisely were you trying to change me into?"  
  
Nathan shrugged. "Someone else. This ideal father I'd been building in my head my whole life. Sort of a combination between Hercules and Cliff Huxtable." Lucas snorted and Dan laughed. Nathan looked sheepish. "Look, I know it's corny, but you try growing up without a father and see what you come up with. Reality has nothing to do with it."  
  
Dan chortled some more, and then stopped, serious. "Okay, first of all, I don't even want to imagine what it would have taken to turn me into Cosby. Second, you're not growing up without a father anymore, so stop talking like that. And third, you're right. I was trying to make you compete against each other. I had this dim idea it would help you both be better ballplayers, and didn't stop to consider that wasn't necessarily compatible with being better brothers. Heck, I'm only figuring that part out myself now. You two figured it out on your own, despite me, and managed to be even better ballplayers at the same time. I'm proud of you, on both counts, and hope eventually you'll forgive and forget?" This last had been said in an almost pleading tone he had never heard come out of his mouth before. He wasn't sure he liked it.   
  
Lucas and Nathan looked at each other, and Lucas spoke. "If you can forgive that whole plotting thing, we can. But not forget. I'm tired of pretending unpleasant things never happened. I'd rather acknowledge we were both wrong and move on."   
  
"It's a deal then," Dan said, turning back to the salad that ate Manhattan. "Now, about this bunny food..."  
  
Nathan jumped up. "That's it, I'm getting the quinoa," he said, leaving the porch.  
  
Dan made a face. "He's going to kill me with all this healthy food of his."  
  
Lucas reached out and grabbed his hand. "Do you have any idea how scared he was in that courtroom? His mom is murdered and less than a year later he has to watch his father almost die? The EMTs strapped you to a monitor, Dad. We heard your heart stop." Dan blanched. "See, I knew you hadn't thought of that."  
  
Dan nodded. "You are so much like your mom sometimes. Thanks for pointing out what I should have known already."  
  
"Hey, someone has to be the adult around here," Lucas said airily. "And Nathan's like his mom, which means he wants to take care of you. Let him hover."  
  
Dan nodded again. "I'm still not eating that quinoa crap again. I vote we scatter it on the lawn and watch the birds get indigestion."  
  
Lucas looked around to make sure Nathan wasn't back yet. "Second," he whispered. "That stuff is nasty." They were still chuckling when Nathan came back. 


	27. Il futuro, come lei voleva

Il futuro, come lei voleva (The future, as she wanted it)  
  
The tree was still quite small, only just taller than the young man standing in front of it. When it wasn't painted dark pink with flowers in the spring, you might not even notice it, especially given its spot in the corner of the yard, away from the main garden and house. At the moment it was even less noticeable, the dank winter having stripped it of its greenery. To most people, it was not a special tree, but to him, it was more than the rest put together, for it was under this tree, entwined in its roots, that his mother had been returned to the earth. They had done it on her birthday rather than the first anniversary of her murder, choosing to celebrate life rather than death. He hadn't hesitated when debating what kind of tree to plant over the spot. In the hot Nevada springs she had talked frequently about missing the redbuds of the east, and now they would always be together. There was one more piece of his past in the ground as well. The minister had said "are you sure?" and they'd all said "yes" and so he'd said the words they'd written and thrown the book, with its annotations and tabs and margin notes, in the hole as well. "First time I've ever consigned an idea to the earth," he'd said afterward.  
  
He hadn't though, not really, because you can't take an idea and excise it from your life, no more than you can remove your past, and it had taken a lot of growing and hard work to make their family. Dan had never turned into the big pussy cat one might hope, but if he was still a tiger, he was one who only rarely showed his claws, and then when he truly believed it necessary. His sons learned to pay attention to those moments, and learn from them, in a way they had never learned from him when he was all claws and no fur. He in his turn really listened to them, and learned to consider their input before making decisions, refusing them only when he had good reason. He had, for instance, refused to accede to a 17-year old Nathan's desperate pleas for a Mustang convertible, even though he had the money in his trust fund. "That money is for college and your mother did not send you to us so we could let you break your neck," he'd said, and Nathan had settled for a second-hand Taurus with a sunroof.  
  
Overall, though, it had worked. Each one had given a little. Lucas went back to shooting guard provided that Dan never ever mention his scoring record again. Nathan had refused to change his last name but always used his middle name so there would be a Scott in there somewhere to limit the confusion when they were introduced as the Scott boys. Karen had finally let go of her anger toward Dan, as he had toward her, and while they had not reconciled and might never, there was still love there under all the rancor. It reassured both Lucas and Nathan that their parents still loved each other. And they were Nathan's parents. After much debate, the second adoption had gone through, although by common consent Nathan never called her Mom. To do so was too much like replacing Her, and just as he would not change his name, he would not overwrite her identity.  
  
While in theory he still lived full time with Dan while Lucas bounced back and forth, those distinctions had long since broken down and the truth was they could be at either house at any time on no particular schedule. Noone really seemed to mind, since they were right across the street from each other. It was in a new house that stood the tree, and the boy, with a book and ashes beneath their feet. Dan had made good on his promise, and bought a second house for him and Nathan, as ridiculously large as his old one since there were some things about Dan that would never change. Nathan had been overjoyed at what his father had assured him was absolutely their last move, but the best part had come when he and Lucas were packing up his room, and found the poster, dusty, battered, and forgotten in the back of the closet. Lucas had run into the bathroom and vomited, after which they had both gone out on the lawn and had a ceremonial burning, scattering the last bitter ashes of their hatred for each other to the wind.  
  
He sat on the grass, ignoring the cold crackle of the frozen dew. Today was her birthday, and he was here to celebrate and update her. She had said she would be watching, and there was so much he wanted to tell her. "Hey, Mom. Happy Birthday. Sorry it's been a while since I came to see you, but school's been insane, and what with practice and that weekend job I told you about doing clerical work in the crime lab, I'm starting to wonder if I'll survive senior year. I'm really liking the job by the way. As much as I like the idea of being a cop, I'm just not sure I can handle a job involving bullets after what happened to you. Forensics seems like it might be the right compromise. Everyone else here is good. The spot next to Karen's cafe just opened up and she's thinking about leasing it and opening a formal restaurant, so she's been locked in the kitchen cooking for the last few weeks. Susan is getting ready to retire and she and Dad are trying to structure a deal so he can buy the company. Which would be nice because then he could maybe cut back on his time a little and not work so hard. His cardiologist is worried about his blood pressure again. You'd think a guy who had a heart attack at 35 would know better, but you know Dad. He may have learned to lay off about some things, but work isn't one of them." He picked at the frozen grass wondering what to say next.  
  
"Oh, Whitey and Ruth? Remember them? Well get this, they're living together now. I asked her why they didn't just get married and she just laughed and said 'Marriage is a young person's game, but I sure don't mind shacking up for a while.' Made Whitey turn a really interesting color. And speaking of married, guess who, of all people, has settled down. Tammi! She sent me the announcement along with a really nice note giving you all the credit. Jake and Peyton have decided to take the plunge after graduation, which is good since Jenny already thinks Peyton is her mother. You'd be so proud of our little Vegas Jenny by the way - she's only 3 and she knows the order of hands in poker. Jake says I'm corrupting her, but what can I say, she's a natural. The only problem is she calls me Uncle Vegas. I don't think she knows my real name, but it's cute. The cheerleading squad made her a little cheer uniform and miniature pom poms so now she runs around shouting 'Go Ravens!' and generally being a nuisance at games, which got us in trouble last week. Haley babysat her the rest of the game. She's good by the way, trying to choose a college, same as me. She and me and Lucas and Brooke, we decided we don't want to go to the same school because that would be too weird, but we do want to be near each other, so we're looking in the DC area because there are a lot of schools there and there's gotta be four schools that are good in English, Forensics and Criminal Science, whatever Brooke decides on, and basketball. I know, I know, but what can I say, I enjoy it, and I'm really really good. UNC and NC State were all over themselves to recruit both of us, but I'm not sure about going to school so near your family, who are still there, by the way, I checked, plus it's not like I need the scholarship. I don't know how you knew when you bought that house, but I told you what it sold for, because it was so well located to that new casino, and Dan's been really good about managing the trust, so there's enough money in there for four years of private school and then some. So thanks Mom. One more gift you're giving me from beyond the grave." The spot in the lawn where he'd been picking was by now quite denuded of grass. He leaned back on his hands, looking up at the tree and the grey winter sky beyond.  
  
"I miss you, all the time. I miss when we used to lay in the back yard on summer nights, making up trips we could never afford to take. Remember that? We're taking one of them this year. Lucas and I have talked Haley and Brooke into going to Italy for spring break. Dad and Karen might come too, but that's a tricky area for them so we're letting them take their time to decide. We're going to go to Florence and see the Uffizi and the Basilica and the Pitti Palace like in the pictures you had, and we're going to Venice to ride in a gondola. I told Lucas we had to drink wine in the Piazza San Marco for you and he's all for it."  
  
"I've been trying to learn a little Italian, to be ready. Did you know they have like seven different past tenses? No joke, there's one for stuff that was ongoing and one for stuff that only happened one and another one for something that happened once a really long time ago. Then there are compound forms. It's nuts. But it got me thinking. It's been almost two and a half years, but it feels like yesterday. So which form do I use for you? Is it the only once, or the only once a long time ago? Whichever it is, as long as I had to lose you, I'm glad I ended up here. It started out bad, Mom, really bad, but it ended up right where you wanted. I should have known I could trust you."  
  
He looked back toward the house, where he could see Lucas waving at him to come in. "Listen Mom, I have to go. Dad's making dinner and then we're going to the movies. I'll come back and talk to you again soon, I promise. Maybe by then we'll have picked schools." He stood and touched his hand to his lips and then to the cold tree bark. "See you." He walked back toward his home, with a framed contract proudly displayed in the dining room. Inside waited his parents, brother, uncle, surrogate grandmother, girlfriend, college, Italy, and all the other gifts in the future tense his mother had given and continued to give him and would always continue to give him.  
  
FINITO 


	28. PostReading Author's Notes

Notes for after you're done reading:  
  
-The incident with the bus as I've described it here actually happened near my hometown. All charges were dismissed and the police handed their fanny on a plate.  
  
-CASA is a real organization, and an incredible one for people who want to advocate for children, (although they will generally not become guardians ad litem). I cannot recommend it highly enough.  
  
-The Art of War is a real book, and an incredibly important one I recommend reading, despite its abuse here. It is a manual of military strategy, but it translates well to many other arenas. It sees a lot of use in business school classes.  
  
-Families like the Lancasters are real. I dated one of the more dissolute sons from such a family in my wilder youth, and they did do things like cut off family members for marrying incorrectly.  
  
-Tammi, Mrs. Plumber, Mrs. Lopez, and Elizabeth Holly are all real people, sort of. Mrs.Plumber was based on the deputy principal of my high school and had been a Rockette before moving over into education. I toyed with making Mrs. Plumber a former showgirl, but couldn't fit it in efficiently. So, here it is: Mrs. Plumber was a feather girl at the Dunes in the 50s. Also, for the record, a former prostitute would never get bonded.  
  
-A lot of stuff I had wanted to put in didn't make the cut after 75 pages (Goodbye Nikki, Royal and May, and assorted Things! Goodbye Peyton's webcam! Goodbye, pierced nipple!) The one thing I truly regret I couldn't find a home for was Peyton's line about Nathan being the good brother, although of course I planned to swap it.  
  
-I swear, I didn't want to redeem Dan, but I couldn't bear to write him as an ogre and once I made him human he redeemed himself. I'm just a sucker for a happy ending.  
  
-It is highly unlikely that I will ever write anything in this fandom again, so this must stand as my magnum opus.  
  
-Go get a cookie. If you made it this far, you deserve it. 


End file.
